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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24704089">Taste of Danger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaiasPen/pseuds/MaiasPen'>MaiasPen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, jalec - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:07:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24704089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaiasPen/pseuds/MaiasPen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jace and Alec are abducted by a lust demon. While the fiend shackles their limbs, he also releases sinful urges from within; designed to test the limits of their parabatai bond . . . and indulge himself in the process. * Set one month after series finale. Jace X Alec /  Jalec</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood &amp; Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warnings: Mature rating due to adult language, sexy scenarios and a creepy, lecherous kidnapper. Jace X Alec<br/>I read all of the ‘Mortal Instruments’ many books years ago, but my freshest memories of the fandom are from the ‘Shadowhunters’ television series —which was a recent binge — and here’s the result! This story features the television versions of Jace and Alec.</p><p>Note: This is my first offering into the ‘Shadowhunters’ fandom, I hope you will enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  </p><p>Chapter One</p><p>Opening my eyes should be effortless, but it isn't. Raising a thrashing vampire over my head would be easier than raising my eyelids. Come to think of it . . . <em>did</em> a vampire lift me over its head and throw me? My brain feels like a chunk of lead, and every muscle aches like I’ve been clenching for hours.</p><p>I grit my teeth against the strain to part my lids; they obey and I immediately wish they hadn't. My retinas are assaulted by light, but it’s not a soft angelic light. It’s like hellfire — a blazing flash that skewers my eyeballs like a neon rod. I try to raise my hands but my limbs won't comply. <em>Fuck. </em>I’m tied-up by both wrists and ankles. I’m sitting upright in a chair and my hands are bound <em>so tightly</em> behind my back that my fingertips are tingling.</p><p>I blink like I'm staring at the sun, commanding my vision to ‘<em>man up’</em>.</p><p>
  <em>Where the hell am I?</em>
</p><p>The last thing I remember is being in bed with Clary at the institute. We were celebrating. The dresscode-naked-private-party-for-two kind of celebration. We were reveling because she's finally regained the memories of her life as a Shadowhunter — and more importantly— of her feelings for me. After a year of 'angel-induced amnesia' Clary had finally seen me at her art show. That was one month ago; and every day thereafter the angels have graced her with a flood of memories. But now it appears that the angels have plucked a few of my own. I can’t remember anything beyond collapsing into my sheets with Clary. Despite how eager I was for the intimacy, I don’t recall if we even had sex. A shame as I’ve been celibate for a year as I pined for her. I’d hoped sex would make me feel closer to her again . . . like how I use to feel. But if I can’t even remember it, then . . . that was a fail.</p><p>Being without Clary for an entire year has been like functioning without a critical limb. But her return did not grant me an instant, painless re-attachment. Without realizing it I’d learned to adapt without this limb<em>. </em>I learned to live without Clary. Was it easy? <em>No.</em> Did I enjoy it? <em>No</em>. Every day was a struggle to readjust. We all had to re-adjust. Our friends and family continued onward with their lives. Izzy, Simon, Luke — heck, even Magnus and Alec <em>literally </em>moved on. They packed up and relocated their lives to Alicante.</p><p>It was when Alec left that losing my 'Clary limb' dulled to an inconvenience, for my parabatai took a critical organ with him. Alec abandoned me with a gaping hole in my torso; a wound that I could not rehab or recover from. He left me alone to labor — to sort out <em>why</em> I feel so incomplete. Which of my ‘emotional innards’ had Alec carved from my flesh? I don’t know. It’s been seven months since his departure — since I’ve even <em>seen </em>his face— and my understanding remains as helpless as my body is now.</p><p><em>Get it together, Jace! The ‘confused look’ isn’t your best look. </em>I berate myself into concentrating. My chunk-of-lead-brain needs a smith to craft out some sensibilities. <em>Really, Jace? Did you just wish a blacksmith would forge your brain? Wow, sad and scary . . </em>. how long have I been strapped to this chair? I don’t feel thirsty. I don’t feel hungry. I don’t even have the urge to piss. I only feel . . . weak.</p><p>Weakness is a familiar sensation for me. Familiar like being stabbed or burned or bitten by demons. I’d gladly welcome being stabbed, burned and bitten over feeling weak. I endured the incessant battery of weakness while dominated by the owl. I killed people— my own grandmother for one— and almost killed everyone else who I love, including Clary and Alec.</p><p>The memories induce a surge of nausea and I beg my chuck-of-lead for mercy. For a moment I’m actually <em>glad </em>that my hands are bound behind my back. My hands deserve to be restrained — they deserve to be stabbed, bitten and burned by demons.</p><p>These hands nearly murdered my parabatai.</p><p>The sickening-snap of Alec’s wrist-bone. . . his agonized wail . . . my boot striking full-force against his ribs . . . I can still feel his ribcage cracking on impact . . . I can still see him sprawled out, utterly defenseless upon his back. The owl never even considered mercy, and I just leaned over Alec and drove his own arrow into his chest. He was as helpless as a wingless, wounded bird <em>and he knew it</em>. Alec accepted that his mortality was ending, he never begged for his life. And the owl was <em>so eager</em> to end him that it wouldn’t have matter if he had. In that moment Alec should have used whatever-scant-energy he had left to fight me! Instead he <em>fucking apologized</em> to me! He tried to <em>comfort me </em>— he could barely breathe! His lung was being punctured — I <em>heard</em> the organ collapsing. I remember seizing him by the back of the neck and jerking him upward. I pulled him close — forcing him to feel death’s embrace —then I pushed that arrow in. The owl wanted me to have a front row view to my parabatai’s end. The owl wanted me to <em>see </em>the unwavering loyalty abandon Alec’s eyes. The owl wanted me to <em>feel</em> Alec’s life-force slip away between my fingers. And yet, despite all of my heinous actions, Alec’s final breaths were pleas for <em>me </em>to forgive <em>him.</em></p><p>I feel like Simon has just spun me <em>waaaaaay</em> too many times on an office chair; <em>oh,</em> and I loath myself. But, I tell my nausea and self-hatred to fuck off.</p><p>I can vomit and punch a mirror after I escape. </p><p>I apply myself to focus and a shape materializes before me. It’s like all of the shadows in the room have banned together to soften the overbearing light. This shape is a person who is strapped to a chair like me. The person is facing me and can’t be more than a few feet away. My sight stabilizes like a water reflection recovering from a ripple.</p><p>“Dammit!” Rage, frustration and fear seize me tighter than these restrains ever could. I buck back and forth as though possessed! I’m desperate to move this shitty chair forward, but the seat seems to be growing out of the floor. It won't budge!</p><p>It’s Alec. Like me his limbs are bound; but unlike me Alec is still unconscious. His head droops toward his shoulder like a wilting plant. His hair looks like ruffled raven feathers and is overdue for a cut. These dark strands tease his eyes to open, but they don’t . . . those thick lashes don't even flutter despite the commotion I’m causing.</p><p>I pause my thrashing and visually assess Alec’s condition. He looks uninjured and peaceful. Though I’m the one with pure angel blood Alec looks the part. His features have always been too pretty. Even now, as a thin layer of stubble darkens his jaw, he still looks pretty. Alec’s face could be on a billboard selling mundane beauty products; but instead his face gets incessantly battered, burned and bitten as a way of life. Alec is wearing a scarlet-colored robe that falls to his bare feet. It looks old-tymie and ceremonial. This isn't something I would imaging him buying, but maybe Magnus likes to play ‘dress-up’ with his beautiful boy toy? I glance at my own attire and I’m creeped-out. I match Alec perfectly. Simon would say we're ‘twinning’. I’m shoeless and in an antiquated scarlet robe. But given the chilly room temperature I’m relieved to have <em>something </em>on. These are obviously not our robes, and ‘<em>not our robes’</em> means no weapons, no phones and no steles.</p><p>Despite the disturbing circumstance of our reunion, my heart swells to see my parabatai. Maybe he’ll finally return my stolen organ? Thievery isn't very delegate-like, and Alec is now a hot-shot delegate for The Clave, so, he should behave like one. <em>What an asshole--but . . . </em>I just love this asshole and his way-too-pretty face. I love everything about Alec. Outside him. Inside him. I would wear him like this robe if I could.<em> And, yeah,</em> that sounds creepier than it was supposed too, but I didn't say it out-loud, so it's cool. The point is: I love my parabatai so much that I forgive him already. He can keep whatever he stole, but he needs to keep me too. We can't be separated again. Alec knows this. He feels this. We are the sunlight warming each other's skin, and I'm tired of living in a full bodysuit-facemask-fuckin' bubble that's freezing cold! Why are we denying one another comfort and heat? Why did he leave me? <em>WHY?</em></p><p>I reel my emotions in like schools of huge, flailing fish -- it's not easy, but I do it. I remind myself that Alec's departure was not personal. The newlywed Lightwood-Bane couple had to move to Idris because that’s where Alec has to work. But why doesn't he visit New York? Magnus does occasionally, but Alec stays away. He says that his new position is 'demanding' and he 'can't step away until he has a proper handle on things'. He’s such a nerdy control-freak. I respect his commitment to work . . . but he's made little effort even to call and . . .</p><p>. . . if I were to be honest with myself —<em> which is a work in progress</em> — neither have I.</p><p>The drift between us is unnatural and too wide to fathom. The Lightwood-Bane log slowly floated one way and the Herondale log, well, it’s fuckin' already sunk into oblivion. There are a lot of reasons, I guess. After how I brutalized Alec as the owl, just being near him plagues me with guilt. Now that Alec spends more time sporting a suit and tie than his bow and arrows, we have few opportunities to interact and we skirt the ones we do. I had been a moping ghost, moaning over Clary for a year (not exactly fun to be around). And now that Alec is a married man, his priority is Magnus . . . <em>it’s no . . .</em></p><p>
  <em>. . . longer . . . </em>
</p><p><em>. . . me</em>.</p><p>The admittance is like swallowing sand. Sand infested with maggots and shit. But I would rather eat an entire beach of it than allow this drift to continue to separate us anymore.</p><p>
  <em> <span class="Apple-converted-space">I need him. </span> </em>
</p><p>I need Alec to be physically close to me. So, yeah, if he were a robe I<em> would</em> fuckin' wear him. I'm just gonna own the 'creep-factor' of that. It's fine and if I said it out-loud Alec wouldn't even <em>be </em>creeped-out. Magnus and Clary . . . well, a different story, but they don't have parabatais so they don't get to judge. I just need to be able to reach out and touch Alec anytime, anywhere, as easily as I can touch my own two hands together anytime, anywhere. Our emotional rune connection is not enough. Even though I still <em>feel </em>Alec’s feelings everyday, I need to feel his skin. I need to hear his heartbeat. I need to see his smile. Even from Idris I sense when he is happy and when he is sad, and I always know when he's suffering physical pain which -- compared to me and my active hunting escapades — is not often. Alec can feel my emotions as well, which must exhaust him. I had finally figured out how to live without my 'Clary limb' only to suddenly get her back. When Clary returned Magnus had portaled to her immediately — overjoyed to hug his ‘Biscuit’ again. But Alec? He sent a lame fire message to welcome Clary home. He said he would visit New York when he could. One month later and no visit.</p><p>Thinking of New York . . . is that where we are now? Whoever abducted us has gone to a tremendous effort to snag me from the institute and Alec from Alicante. That also means that whoever abducted us has an impressive ability to tear down magical wards. Has Magnus been abducted also? Has Clary? Or is it just ‘Team Parabatai’ alone in this . . . I survey as much of our containment space as I can. We're seated in a very small room. The dimensions can't exceed fifteen by fifteen feet. A small damp, dingy room that reeks of mildew. The floor, walls and ceiling look like cement. The room is barren aside from our chairs; which are also cement and won't be winning 'comfy chair of the year' unless the competition are pin cushions. Hanging dead-center between our heads is a single lightbulb, and a pull-cord suspends from its fixture. How the hell has this one bulb seared the shit outta my eyes? There are no windows or any other sources of light. If there is a door I can't see it, which means it could be behind me, just out of my sight. If there's a door behind me then Alec will be able to see it.</p><p>“Hey, Alec, wake up!” I toss my voice at him like a small stone -- I'm not trying to make his ears bleed, just nudge him back to reality.</p><p>My parabatai loves to sleep more than he loves pancakes or arrows or --I'd be willing to bet-- sex, but I'd have to check with Magnus on that. A 'sleeping Alec' is a 'happy Alec', and he sleeps like a literal happy, heavy log. Alec sleeps through his alarm, his mother's yelling and even Izzy slamming his door. But my happy, heavy Alec-log has <em>always</em> split from sleep at my faintest call.</p><p><em>Always</em> . . . until right now. </p><p>"Parabatai, c'mon! Wake up!" I don't care if his ears bleed, this time I yell. I want my words to peg him like a rock to the head. "ALEC!"</p><p>Nothing. Sleeping Beauty continues to dream. I clench my jaw so hard my sinuses pop. Why isn’t he waking up? Has his desk job softened him so much that he can’t battle back from whatever-the-hell knocked us out?</p><p>An obnoxious swishing-sound assaults me-- it's like the entire room is gargling mouthwash <em>and-- what the fuck?</em>  My body stiffens like a seraph blade. I wish to the angel that I had a seraph blade now; oh, and a free hand would be a bonus. I never did quite master the art of wielding a weapon with my teeth. Someone has magically materialized behind me and I don’t dare to hope that it’s Magnus. I strain my neck to identify whoever our abductor is. Fuck this helpless position! I can’t protect myself, and worse, I can’t protect Alec. My unconscious parabatai is even more defenseless than I am. Once again Alec is the wingless, wounded bird and I'm just the trapped spectator.</p><p>FUCK!</p><p>A figure moves in front of me. This figure is tall like Alec and has a broad, muscular frame like Luke. There are no identifiable features beyond physique as this figure —whoever or whatever — is concealed by a shroud that wraps his face and body like wearable mist. The hairs prickling on the back of my neck alert me that this is something evil.</p><p>I conjure my best ‘annoyed that you have inconvenienced me’ expression and hit the figure with that; it’s not a punch, but I’ve been told <em>my looks can kill.</em> The figure doesn’t flinch. Instead, like a predatory bird, he tilts its head toward me and then cocks it toward Alec. I have to entertain this creature’s attention. I don’t want that thing even looking at Alec.</p><p>“Hey there, you fuckin' prick!” I yell like he's kidnapped my BFF and tied him to a chair. “Kidnapping two Shadowhunters, huh? Not your smartest life choice.”</p><p>The figure raises a long, black gloved finger to its lips, making a very mundane gesture to be silent. <em>Okay, that’s creepy</em>, but I eat ‘creepy’ for breakfast. This creature’s shrouded-in-mystery act will have to 'dial-up' if it wants to freak me out.</p><p>“Listen, I get you wantin' to nab us to add some eye-candy to your drab decor in here, but you’re gonna have to—”</p><p>I lose my words as the figure losses his shroud. He is in desperate need of a tan and some botox. He would make a vampire look like a swimsuit model. His complexion is whiter and his skin droopier than melting candle wax. His face is simply offensive, but his eyes . . . okay, those check a box on the ‘freaky chart’. His eyes are like the hides of two glossy beetles, soulless and black. They remind me of Jonathan. I don’t like being reminded of Jonathan. The creature’s hair is darker and longer than Izzy’s, though nowhere near as nice. I doubt that tangled mess has ever met a brush. This thing looks like a classic spooky character from one of Simon’s comic books. Black eyes aside, pretty lame compared to most of the monsters I’ve fought.</p><p>Our lame abductor flicks his dark orbs back and forth between me and Alec. He seems intrigued and opens his mouth, speaking with a voice that is distinctly masculine, and could be described as pleasant, if the words weren’t so strange.</p><p>“I have gone to great lengths to acquire you both,” the creature announces as though he were sharing good news. “I am curious about your bond.”</p><p>Okay, so his words are unexpected and take me aback, though I don’t show it. “<em>Our bond</em>? Do you mean because we're parabatai?”</p><p>The thing nods. He seems absolutely delighted by my question, as thought I’ve offered him a cup of tea.</p><p>“Listen, buddy, I’m feelin' generous. If you have some questions and you wanna conduct an interview, I’m game and I’ll even give you an autograph. But this whole ‘kidnapping us and dressing us in robes and tying us up thing’, well . . . it’s a stalker-move. Unnecessary.”</p><p>“Oh, no, it is quite necessary, young Shadowhunter. You see, the things I want to learn from you will be impossible for you to explain.”</p><p>“More creepily vague words.” I exhale my exasperation like it's noxious gas . “Are Alec and I the only subjects of your curiosity? Did you kidnap anyone else?” I can’t bring myself to mention Clary by name.</p><p>The creature shakes his head negatively, thank the angel. No one else is at risk.</p><p>“I am only interested in your bond. I have no need for the others, they are useless to me. <em>Ah,</em> but you are both so lovely. You are going to be very useful indeed . . .” his disturbing words and eyes drift away from me and fix on Alec. The creature’s large body casts my parabatai beneath a shadow so dark that Alec nearly disappears.</p><p>I don’t like the way my adrenaline is spiking! I don’t like the increase in my heart-rate! I don’t like the sweat breaking out on my brow! I don’t like the fact that my body is shifting itself into high alert! My body only does this when . . . when . . . something I don’t like is about to happen.</p><p>My attention ping-pongs between Alec’s unconscious face and that of our abductor. Something in the creature’s expression changes. But it's not a nice change like a caterpillar’s metamorphosis into a butterfly; this is like an already ugly moth decomposing into worm food. Only this creature is looking at Alec like he’s the food.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Chapter 2</p><p> </p><p>“My parabatai isn’t gonna be of any use to you. Unless you’re blind or stupid you’ll notice he’s out cold.” I speak loudly and curtly; my voice like an audible lasso aiming to yank the creature’s attention back to me. I need to interrupt whatever this freak-show is thinking about doing to Alec. “C’mon over here and we’ll chat. We can get to know each other better, compare our differences. I’ll start, <em>I </em>have a handsome face and <em>you</em> have an ugly face.”</p><p>My lasso misses it's mark. The elusive creature ignores me and pulls off his right glove. His hand is pale and lumpy like he uses cottage cheese as a moisturizer. I expected a gross hand though, a tanned and well-manicured hand would have actually thrown me off.</p><p>Those long fingers reach toward Alec and brush some renegade hairs from his face. Alec’s hair seems darker than ever against that hand, obsidian being scrapped by bones. The creature’s touch is surprisingly tender, like how I’ve brushed hair from Clary’s face countless times. But what I’ve <em>never done</em> is make an odd cooing sound while doing it. The creature sounds like a deranged dove.</p><p>“He is extraordinary. Truly!” The creature’s voice and expression are genuinely awed.</p><p>“Well, he wouldn’t be <em>my</em> parabatai if he wasn’t. But go easy on the praise. Alec is a terrible workaholic, he snores after drinking vodka and he can be <em>so-oh </em>mopey when—” the creature confiscates my words.</p><p>“There are many things I want to discover about your bond during our sessions.”</p><p>“<em>Our sessions</em>? Like . . . therapy?”</p><p>The creature ignores me again. He removes his second glove releasing an equally offensive cottage-cheese-hand. Now those two nasty hands have grabbed Alec’s face and are cupping his head like a trophy. The monster lowers himself and . . . sniffs Alec’s eyebrows. Next he smells his ears, his nose, his forehand and then his mouth.</p><p>I have to distract this creature before it takes a bite. “Well, it’s clear <em>someone</em> in this room needs therapy. A fetish for sniffing Shadowhunters, <em>yeah,</em> this is a new one.”</p><p>The creature blows on Alec’s forehead like a birthday candle; the act stirs his bangs and the creature quickly looks at me as though anticipating something to happen. I cock an eyebrow, inviting the creature to explain what he’s waiting for.</p><p>“Your hair did not move.” Comes the monster’s astute observation.</p><p>“Of course it didn’t.”</p><p>“But you are bonded.”</p><p>“Our bond doesn’t work like that.” I patronize the monster as though he were a mundane. “This should be Downworlder 101.”</p><p>“But do you not feel my breath at all?”</p><p>I humor the creature’s curiosity but only because it keeps him from treating Alec like hotdog that is <em>a bit</em> <em>too</em> hot yet to bite. “I do feel what he feels emotionally. But I’m not gonna feel you blowing on his face. If I felt every little sensation Alec did I’d never be able to function. I'd be distracted non-stop. To be honest, the only thing I’m feeling right now is <em>grossed-out</em> by <em>your</em> hands and face.”</p><p><em>C’mon, Ugly, sniff me</em>, I silently beckon the beast with my eyes. If I piss him off he’s bound to come over to me. I need to get him away from Alec.</p><p>The creature bends his neck like a pipe-cleaner and blinks in that bird-like manner. Then his lips peel back and... I've never seen anyone who needed whitening strips more. His teeth look like chunks of charcoal. “I see,” he sneers, and focuses on Alec again. “Well, young Shadowhunter, might you then feel <em>this </em>instead?” The creature kisses Alec . . . <em>on the lips!</em> The gesture is eerily-chaste, like he’s kissing his grandmother’s cheek.</p><p>But Alec is <em>no </em>monster’s grandmother — he is <em>my </em>parabatai! And no nasty beast is allowed to kiss him anywhere!Adrenaline surges and I fight against my restraints, thrashing like my joints are on fire! I want to smash this monster’s face in!</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>I’ve slipped up.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>Battling my restraints did not crack the creature’s composure. The act only cracked my own act of nonchalance. Now this thing knows that touching Alec will set me off.</p><p>The thing smirks the undeniable smirk of a demon.</p><p>My arms might be restricted but my words refuse to be: “Do not touch Alec again.”</p><p>The thing laughs the undeniable laugh of a demon.</p><p>“Actually, young Shadowhunter, I plan on touching both of you many times over the course of our sessions. I will determine which of my touches on Alec elicit reactions from you and visa versa. You see, I have many different kinds of touches.”</p><p>“Congratulations!” I snap, wishing I could snap his candlestick neck. “You are the Creeper of the Year. Why don’t you come over here and <em>just try </em>to kiss me. See what happens.” I fully intend to bite his disgusting lips from his face.</p><p>"Be patient," the undeniable demon teases, “you will get your turn, but it is Alec’s turn now.” The black-toothed-fucker is vampire-fast. Before my heart can beat again he’s snatched Alec’s face, but this time his grip is possessive; clutching Alec like a stolen artifact. <em>Well,</em> that is if the demon like's the taste of artifacts! <em>FUCK!</em> The demon releases his long tongue and licks Alec from chin to brow! His tongue looks like a rotten oyster shell, gray and rutted, and I’m sure it smells just as foul.</p><p>“Feel that?” The demon jeers. Though his words are directed at me he doesn’t wait for me to reply; his lips crash against Alec’s lips — kissing him again! And this kiss is anything but chaste.</p><p><em>Fuck, fuck, fuck. </em>My blood pressure skyrockets! My heart pounds like a war-hammer! <em>FUCK! </em>This monster is assaulting Alec’s mouth and I can’t-fucking-stop him! My body flails as though I’m seizing! I plead with the angel to grant me freedom! Or more strength! Or more <em>something! Anything that will help Alec! </em>I don’t know if this demon is some kind of sexual pervert or a hungry predator. He might be trying to drain his balls or fill his stomach! Whatever his intentions are he’s not gonna use <em>my parabatai</em> to satisfy his needs!</p><p>Alec’s unconsciousness is the only mercy, he won’t ever have to know about the vile assault on his face. But . . . no sooner does that thought leave my mind do Alec’s lashes twitch.</p><p>I watch my parabatai awaken into a nightmare. Alec’s eyes pop open; clearly bewildered as he struggles to identify the source of wet pressure upon his mouth. Alec’s realization smashes into him — an unmerciful sucker punch — as he focuses on the hideous face accosting him. I can <em>feel </em>Alec’s helplessness, his horror! I can <em>feel</em> the adrenaline kicking him in his ass to fight! My parabatai pulls uselessly against his restraints. He writhes and tries to move his face away from the attack. The demon digs his nails into Alec’s face, puncturing his skin like a piece of fruit. Alec’s protests are devoured by savage lips — he sounds like he’s drowning — but I know what he’s trying to scream: <em>get the fuck off me!</em></p><p>No desk job can take the fighter out of Alec. My parabatai whips is head backward and then crashes it forward, his brow collides with the monster’s nose. The demon grunts, releases Alec and staggers backward. The unexpected headbutt causes a tar-like liquid to dribble from his nose. But the demon never loses his wits, he snorts the tar back up his nostrils and then actually . . . laughs.</p><p>Alec spits like a fountain, retching as though there were shit on his lips. Alert-brown eyes gauge the scene and immediately focus on me. He sees that I’m also restrained. He comprehends that we are defenseless. And then Alec’s terror overwhelms me like gravity. I start to retch too.</p><p>“Jace!” My parabatai calls to me; my name replacing that demon’s mouth upon his lips. “Are you—” Alec coughs and an inky-goo, much like the demon’s blood, dribbles from his mouth, “—you alright?”</p><p>I nod and stifle my gagging, forbidding my fear from showing on my face. The only thing that matters is reassuring Alec that I’m fine. That he is fine. We are both fine. We are always stronger together. We will figure this out and make this maniac monster pay.</p><p>“I’m okay, Alec. We’ve been kidnapped by this freak and, unfortunately for you, he’s not into blonds.”</p><p>Alec narrows his eyes into slits of annoyance. I want to smile at him, comfort him; but he starts vomiting like he swallowed basin of black tea.</p><p>I stare at our captor. His beady eyes bounce between us. The demon seems delighted by our (now conscious) reunion.</p><p>“You are extraordinary, young Shadowhunter. You have not disappointed me.” The demon chases his words with action. He descends upon Alec like a vulture clutching fresh roadkill. One hand snatches a fistful of Alec’s hair and the other ensnares his throat. Alec cries out; wholly ambushed by frustration and pain. That slimy oyster-tongue is lapping against Alec’s mouth like a dog. This demon doesn’t grant Alec any slack this time. His two-handed restraint method is sound. By securing Alec by both hair and throat he's unable to buck his head. The black slop continues to dribble between their mouths, it creates a slurping, sucking soundtrack to Alec's struggling.</p><p>“Stop it!” My demand is all the offense I can offer. “You’re hurting him!”</p><p>The demonic-grip grows ever-tighter around Alec’s throat and I can feel my parabatai’s panic. I inhale deeply as though the act may somehow supply Alec with air.</p><p>The monster covers Alec’s lips with his own like trapping a bird under an air-tight bucket. The act is not kissing, it’s suffocation.</p><p>My parabatai rune begins to throb along with Alec’s pulse. It’s an alarm. My parabatai’s mortality is waning and I am bond-bounded to save him! This demon doesn’t deserve my manners, but hardball isn’t working. I need to beg. I will beg. I must beg. Alec’s lungs are fucking begging for air!</p><p>“Please! Please stop! You need to stop! You’re killing him!”</p><p>It works. Sort of. The demon removes his lips — they are smeared in Alec’s black spew — but his hands do not budge. He glares at me like I’ve interrupted him in mid-prayer. But then he smiles as though I alone can grant his prayer. The demon knows he’s holding something precious to me. And now it’s my turn to pray. I beg the angel that the demon hasn't figured out just <em>how precious</em> Alec truly is to me . . .</p><p>. . . that I would be unable to exist in a world without him. </p><p>“Very well,” our captor retreats his hands and Alec’s frame trembles. My parabatai gasps for air one moment a then coughs more of that black liquid the next. Alec’s lips, his chin, his throat, his red robe are saturated like he’s rolled in tar and is awaiting the feathers.</p><p>Why is he puking this shit up?! And what <em>is it?</em>!</p><p>Alec throws acquisition at the demon: “You poisoned me!”</p><p>“Yes,” the demon admits casually, “I did poison you. I am ever-so-curious to see what will happen to your parabatai as you die.”</p><p>Alec and I experience the detonation of the demon’s words together and our sights connect like magnets.  It’s like the hands of god have seized our souls and shred them like trash. The experience of being physically disemboweled would be a mercy compared to this . . . this. . . <em>No. </em>The demon can extract every tooth from my mouth, peel every nerve from my flesh, break my bones one-by-one; he can drown me, beat me, bite me, burn me . . . take my dignity, take my life!</p><p>
  <em>But, please . . . please . . . just don’t take my Alec!</em>
</p><p>I think I’m gasping . . . I think I’m crying. . . I must be, and<em> ‘fuck-these-tears’, </em>as they are blurring Alec’s image before me, just as this monster’s poison is about to blur away the <em>best part of me.</em></p><p>
  <em> No . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em> . . . I can’t live . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em> . . . without . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em> . . . him!</em>
</p><p>“Please! Please!” The words weep from my lips along with my tears. “I would never beg for my own life, but I’ll fall on my knees to save Alec. I can’t live without him!” I’m an emotional shit-show. I’ve been trained to be stronger than this and — if it were <em>anyone else,</em> even Clary— I could retain my resolve. But god’s hands already tore my resolve asunder. I can feel Alec’s flash of disappointment — I’m reacting exactly as our abductor wants me to — but his disappointment is followed by irrevocable devotion.</p><p>If I were the one poisoned Alec would hike through all seven hells and sell his soul to save me.</p><p>The demon approaches me and gently strokes my bangs from my eyes.</p><p>“That is quite the declaration, young Shadowhunter. If you cannot live without your parabatai, then I wonder . . .what, <em>precisely</em>, would you be willing to do to save him?”</p><p>As much as his fingers on my face sicken me I don’t recoil from his touch. As long as he’s touching me he’s not touching Alec. “I would do <em>anything </em>to save him. Name it.”</p><p>Alec opens this mouth to protest but only slimy tar trickles out. Curse those restraints! My proud parabatai can’t even wipe his mouth. He can't die like this! HE CAN'T DIE AT ALL!</p><p>“Well, young Shadowhunter,” the demon’s black orbs flare with challenge. “Since it was <em>my kiss </em>that made Alec sick, perhaps <em>your kiss</em> can make him well again? Shall we find out?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you are enjoying the Jalec drama! Your donation of a comment would mean a great deal! It means so much to know that other Shadowhunters’ fans are reading this and would like me to continue! Thanks soooo much! The next chapter is full of those x’s and o’s. ;) Be well, Maia’s Pen</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 3</p><p>The demon’s question startles me, but not like an ambush, more like a surprise party. Maintaining a neutral facade takes all of my remaining resolve, which could fill a thimble at best. </p><p>By the angel, I expected the demon to demand my blood, my body, my soul! Kissing Alec will be the easiest 'parabatai-preserving task' I’ve undergone throughout our lives yet! No price to pay at all for saving his life.</p><p>“You want me to <em>kiss</em> Alec?” I double check that I heard correctly and the demon nods. “<em>Fine.</em> Release me and I’ll kiss him right now.”</p><p>“Splendid!” The demon caws like crow over a carcass. “I will free you from your binds. But be warned, if you try to attack me then Alec will die.”</p><p>“I understand.” I do understand. I have no choice but to trust the demon’s word. That thought in itself is absurd, but ‘absurd trust’ is the only chance Alec has to survive, well, at least until Magnus finds us. I have no doubt that Alec’s husband is hunting for him in every crevice of every world, dimension, reality and hell that exists. I trust that Magnus, Clary and Izzy <em>will</em> rescue us. Eventually. This demon is certainly mega-powerful to have nabbed Alec from under Mangus’ nose, but my money is on the bane of Bane. Mangus’ handles harm befalling his ‘precious Alexander’ about as well as I do. The difference is that Magnus <em>can </em>live without Alec . . .<em> I can’t.</em></p><p>The demon dips his head toward me and my binds dissolved like wet paper. I raise my hands and flex my fingers. It feels like glue is circulating through my veins, but Alec doesn’t have time for me to do jumping-jacks to prevent clotting. He doesn’t even have time for me to gain my strength and balance, so I don’t. I close the distance with my parabatai like a staggering drunk.</p><p>I cradle Alec’s face as though I’m holding the fate of the world. <em>Well, I basically am.</em> He IS my entire world. My parabatai’s head is heavier and hotter than a demon egg. But he’s the handsomest brow-dripping-sweat-lips-dripping-spew demon egg that I’ve ever seen. <em>Okay, </em>not that there’s a lot of competition in this department, but ‘Leave it to Lightwood’ to turn his death into something gruesomely-beautiful.</p><p>I try to wipe the mess from his face and onto my sleeve, but the substance is thick and sticky like pinesap. Most of the crap won’t budge, it’s content to cling to Alec. I can’t blame it and . . . <em>what the fuck?</em> Did I just attribute a personality trait to toxic slop? <em>Focus, Jace!</em></p><p>My parabatai looks up at me with woozy-brown eyes; he looks like he's been trying to out-drink Magnus.</p><p>“It’s okay, Alec, I’m here, okay?” My voice is as gentle as my actions. I lean down and touch my lips to his heated brow.</p><p>Mocking laugher clobbers my ears. “<em>That </em>is the kiss you intend to save Alec’s life with?”</p><p>My glare would make a werwolf cry, but the demon doesn’t flinch. “You said to kiss him and I kissed him! What more do you want to see?! My parabatai is dying in my hands!”</p><p>“Exactly!” The demon shrieks likes he’s on fire and loves it. “<em>Your </em>parabatai <em>IS</em> dying in your hands. I want to see you kiss Alec like his life depends on it, <em>because it does. So KISS him!”</em></p><p>As a hunter I strike when I'm commanded to strike, and so I do not hesitate now. I push my lips against Alec’s lips. His mouth is a sticky slip-n-slide of slop but I refuse to disconnect. The discharge tastes bitter like I’m licking a copper coin, <em>but fuck</em>, I’d lick the devil’s asshole if it meant saving Alec. My kiss is as soft and platonic as possible, I don’t want to hurt him. Despite my tender intentions Alec goes stiff as a training staff within my grasp. He shakes his head and moans, blatantly protesting our mouth-to-mouth contact.</p><p>The demon’s noxious laugher strikes my ears again. “You can do better than that, young Shadowhunter. If you are not convincing Alec of your authenticity then you are certainly not convincing me.”</p><p>I pull back, removing my mouth from Alec’s. My eyes plead with my parabatai to <em>please relax </em>— to just let me save his life! <em>Alec, please, just stop being difficult!</em></p><p>Alec gawks at me like I’d just licked him with a forked tongue. A brown storm of bewilderment clashes against my resolve; I can <em>feel </em>his objection and the joints in my fingers almost release his face. But I readjust my grip and hold him firmly. If I let go, he looses his life. <em>Hell, we both do.</em></p><p>I rub my thumbs across his cheekbones from nose to ears and then tug on each lobe. “Alec,” I breathe his name and brush my nose over his, “you know I can’t live without you, <em>so please</em>, just let me save our lives.”</p><p>I kiss him. The stubborn bastard channels this ‘inner training staff' again, but this time he doesn’t struggle. It’s my duty to make Alec relax. The monster watching us wants me to deliver a convincing ‘life-saving-level' kiss. And so I will either convince Alec to willingly surrender his mouth or I’ll force him too. But this kiss does not end until he’s been cured of the poison.</p><p>I take Alec’s lower lip between my teeth; my bite is gentle, I could pick up a rose petal without leaving a mark. I hold his lip here and his hot breath mixes with mine. <em>Yes, </em>Alec tastes like copper, but he also tastes . . .</p><p>. . . <em>good</em>.</p><p>My lips close around his and I suck <em>ever-so-gently,</em> like trying to draw juice from a fruit without bruising the peel. I taste a hint of his favorite beer, the salt from his skin and <em>something else. </em>Something I only ever caught the teasing trace of when we use to wrestle and my mouth would accidentally graze his shoulder or back. I should be feeling shame, awkwardness, revulsion . . .</p><p><em>Fuck the fruit peel, let it bruise.</em> I suck Alec harder, determined to identify <em>what it is </em>that I’m consuming. Whatever this taste is, I <em>need it. This is</em> the source of pure euphoria and risk. <em>This </em>will fuel my adrenaline and courage and strength and I’m an absolute useless shit without it.</p><p><em> No wonder Magnus is ever-willing to surrender his magic, his life, and tear down the barriers between worlds for Alec. </em>My parabatai’s mouth is dangerous. A danger that I crave above all else. I’ve always been emotionally addicted to Alec. But now my dependance is physical. The need surpasses the moon's pull on a werwolf or blood's pull on a vamp. Alec is my pull, even more than ever before, if that's possible! He’s my gorgeous-stubborn-fucking-delicious-needy-Alec. His pheromones, his flavor, the feel of his mouth against mine. Gravity has flashed me the middle finger and I don’t know which way is up or down or if directions even exist anymore. But I’m anchored to my Alec and I’ll hang on to him for both of our lives.</p><p>Alec starts his shit again and squirms. I bite down and hold. My response is a wrestling  instinct. Countless times over our lives I’ve pinned Alec beneath my body and held him still. I’ve forced him into uncomfortable positions and refused to relinquish until he submits. This is the same. Once again Alec needs to be reminded that I am the stronger one. He struggles and I bite down harder. His lip bleeds and somehow the mortal fluid only adds to the ecstasy of his flavor.</p><p>The blood makes my parabatai surrender. If we were wrestling he’d tap out. His jaw goes slack within my fingers. I reward him by replacing my tooth-hold with lips alone. His skin is so fevered he’s nearly unbearable to hold, and yet the thought of letting him go is intolerable. The toxins are boiling him from the inside out. I need to hurry; the monster continues to observe us. He’s not yet seen whatever-the-hell it is he’s waiting to see.</p><p>So I kiss Alec properly now. No more bottom-lip-sucking or biting. I kiss him slowly and gently, begging him. . . <em>please, Alec, if you’re going to melt, then melt into me; </em>and I know he understands for his mouth <em>finally </em>responds.</p><p>We worship one another with a force I guarantee those angels have never felt before. Alec’s mouth reveres mine with his soft, pliable lips — he parts them inviting me in to commandeer his very soul. I reward his devotion with my tongue. His mouth is a sacred place, it belongs to his husband, meant for Magnus’ private prayer . . . and yet Alec has welcomed me inside him. He moans into my mouth— a sound of ethereal pleasure — and it drives me to taste him deeper. Boldness possesses Alec and he counters my tongue with his own; exercising a sound from my throat that I didn’t know I could make.</p><p>My lungs cry for liberation and I pull back, but the man in my hands is <em>so-fucking-sexy</em> that I forget how to breathe. Alec’s eyes set me ablaze —he’s turned-on and I’ve never seen him look at me <em>like this</em>. Like he’s some ravenous, horny god-of-a-man and he <em>wants me</em>. He wants me to defile him and love him until we both collapse. I can deny him nothing. I'm a zealot to service him. I willingly surrender my body, my heart, my faith to burn alive under him.</p><p>I don’t know if I inhaled or not, I just know that my mouth is drinking his soul again. My pace hastens from devote, patient worshiper to that of a frenzied fanatic. I don’t know when our abductor will be satisfied . . . I don’t known when I will be satisfied.</p><p>I want to glorify Alec, not desecrate him; but my body is a dirty traitor. I smash my lips against his harder, my tongue challenges his loyalty to Magnus. My parabatai is a dirty traitor too. He never holds back when sparring and he’s not holding back now. Alec is as skilled with his mouth as he is with an arrow. I want him to persecute my body. I want to push him to his knees and make him a martyr upon my cock.</p><p>Alec's cheek is the holy grail in my left hand, but my right hand is a greedy sinner. My fingers crawl down his throat and chest and I undo his robe as frenetically as he’s undoing my sanity. My hand continues to descend along Alec’s firm, muscled body. His desk job has not stopped him from working out; his body is a work-of-fitness-art. I’ve felt his shirtless skin against mine countless times while wrestling. I’ve appreciated his fit form, but never the way he deserved. <em>I make amends now.</em> My fingers pay tribute to each abdominal muscle, caressing them like precious stones. I never thought another man’s hard body could make me hard, but it’s already happened. But this isn’t <em>just another man.</em></p><p>Our mouths continue their pilgrimage as my hand continues to wander—<em>no, not wander.</em> My hand knows exactly where it’s going. My hand is sweaty and randy and trembling and it plummets. . .but not toward hell, my destination will be heaven for us both.</p><p>Alec stops kissing me and cranes his face away, struggling again! Protesting again! My fingers stop too, just below his navel, skimming the hairs which lead to our bliss.</p><p><em>Why is he fighting me now?! What’s his problem?! </em>Alec is the idol I've pledged my faith to . . . that I want to sacrifice by body to . . . <em>he can’t reject me. </em>I won’t allow him to! </p><p>He won’t hold still so my hand ascends, slithering up his mountain of muscles. I coil my fingers around his throat. Still he fights me. My other hand snags Alec’s hair in my fist. I hold him steady — gripping him by his hair, gripping him by his throat; his arms are bound and yet he’s got the strongest hold on me.</p><p>I grind my mouth over his, relishing the friction of our facial hair even though it’s slick with goo. Within my grasp his pulse thunders in pace with my heart. Alec’s resistance only serves to arouse me further . . . and irritate me. I have him pinned and defenseless and he can’t tap out. He must comprehend that I’m trying to save our lives.</p><p>No Alec, no Jace. No Jace, no Alec.</p><p>
  <em>Where thou diest, will I die . . .</em>
</p><p>I squeeze his neck the way I need him to squeeze my cock. I have <em>never </em>been so unbearably rock-hard before, my arousal bulges painfully with pressure . . . I need to get this robe off, I need to . . .</p><p>“Alec is cured.”The demon’s voice yanks my attention forward like a lasso pulling me from a hot spring into a blizzard.</p><p>I recoil my hands from Alec as though he’s just burst into flame!</p><p>I’m unable to grant the demon a glance for my eyes refuse to leave Alec. He’s gasping, sputtering, eyes watering and his lips are swollen and red. His sight seeks mine. Alec is confused but not angry. But he should be angry! He should be furious with me!</p><p><em>What came over me?!</em> I just assaulted Alec worse than the demon did and he forgives me. He’s not even upset! His dark eyes plead with me to remain calm — not to blame myself — but I do. I do because I can't blame the monster behind me. I kissed Alec to save him, but I wasn’t supposed to ravage his mouth . . . I wasn’t supposed to feel his body . . . I wasn’t supposed to <em>enjoy </em>it . . . I wasn’t supposed to <em>need him . . .</em></p><p>I pray to the angel that Alec is too tangled in our snarl of combined emotions to understand any of it. I sure-as-fuck don’t.</p><p>I clasp a hand over my mouth and another over my erection bulge. This robe does nothing to conceal it. Alec clearly sees what I’m failing to hide and he silently mouths: <em>“It’s okay.”</em></p><p>My words are not silent: “I’m sorry, Alec.” I fall to my knees before him, my hands gripping his thighs, and now I see that he’s aroused too. In fact, he’s so blatantly hard that they can probably see his boner back in Idris.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Alec repeats out loud this time. He holds my stare with the tenderness I should have shown to his body, his face, his hair, his throat and his mouth.</p><p>I snarl and turn toward our captor! Alec is healed and I'm gonna kick the ever-living-shit outta this godforsaken-pervert!</p><p>I land twin blows — my right and left fists colliding with the demon’s chest. The action should have buckled him; but instead <em>I’m</em> the one collapsing and falling like a ball of crumbled paper. Striking him had been like striking concrete— my knuckles are certainly fractured. My body should've crashed to the floor, but instead I'm lurching backward. The magical bastard has sent me back to the chair and my wrist and ankle restraints have reappeared.</p><p>“Jace!” Alec calls for me and my sight obeys, merging with his. I feel weak, slightly stunned . . . but I push those sensations aside. My primary concern is to ease his. Our eye contact relaxes us both.</p><p>“Absolutely fascinating.” Comes the amused voice of our captor. The demon is standing over Alec again and stroking his head as though he were a beloved pet. Alec tries to turn his face away, but the action is futile and only grants me the awful view of his bruised throat. His throat looks as though I’d stuck my fingers in some of Clary’s blue paint before grabbing him.</p><p>“Don't touch my parabatai!” I growl, well-aware that I sound like a possessive maniac. I also know that my warning is empty. This monster — whatever hell he’s from — is too powerful for us. Our best offense is now defense. Alec and I must begin ‘operation just survive’ until our friends can rescue us.</p><p>The demon trails his fingers over my parabatai’s swollen lips and neck. “It looks as though your touch damaged your parabatai far worse than mine did, but . . .” the skeletal fingers continue downward and gesture toward the obvious arousal bulging beneath Alec's robe.“ . . . it looks like you enjoyed it, eh, Alec? You too, Jace.”</p><p>“If you’re trying to embarrass us, it won’t work,” Alec speaks calmly and clearly. “Jace and I are sharing all of the same emotions right now. I understand that you're curious about our bond and I’m willing to answer any questions that you have. But, please, you don’t need to torture us to garner compliance.”</p><p>The demon smiles upon Alec with something resembling appreciation. “You fascinate me. You are clearly the level-headed one and your words appeal to me, but alas, I will only find my answers through experimentation.”</p><p>“You don’t know that unless you communicate with us. Please, give us the chance to educate you. What would you like to know?” Alec tries again to reason with the demon; my parabatai is on track for ‘operation just survive’.</p><p>The demon is clearly trying to contain his grin. “Very well, I ask you then, what would happen to <em>you</em> if I stabbed Jace with a blade?”</p><p>I can feel Alec’s alarm but his expression remains ironclad.</p><p>“If you stabbed Jace then I would share in his emotional distress. I wouldn't bleed.”</p><p>“Fascinating,” awes the demon. He seems rather fond of that word. I’d like to fascinate him by shoving a blade down his throat. “I would like to see your rune.”</p><p>“Go ahead, it’s on my abdomen,” Alec invites politely. I remain silent since my parabatai seems to be communicating with this fucker on some level. The demon opens Alec’s robe revealing — not only his parabatai rune— but his entire muscled and rune-decorated torso. The torso I just felt-up like a horny teen.</p><p>“It’s the rune beside my navel—” Alec begins to direct the demon, but the ghostly hand finds the rune like a heat-seeking missile. No direction needed. The demon’s hand is so wide that it completely covers the rune.</p><p>“I don’t feel anything.” The demon observes out loud.</p><p>What an idiot. What did he expect it to feel like? To his fingers their rune would be no more than a mundane tattoo. The demon’s touch lingers like a doctor trying to feel a baby kicking in the mother’s womb.</p><p>“What did you expect to feel?” Alec asks.</p><p>The monster’s hand does what mine itches to do . . . he moves his fingertips over Alec’s abdominal muscles. The gesture is downright lecherous. Alec struggles not to flinch and I’m struggling not to scream. Seeing that horrible hand groping Alec is intolerable!</p><p>“Hey! You better stop that!” The threat escapes my lips before I can detain it. Alec’s eyes flare — warning me to shut up. The demon might not have been hurting Alec with his hands, but I know his thoughts are vile and I’m not gonna sit here — <em>okay I am gonna sit here </em>— but I’m gonna do my damnedest to redirect that perv's attention off of Alec and back on to me. “Don’t you wanna see my parabatai rune too? You’re makin' me jealous.”</p><p>Alec is about to implode with frustration, but I don’t care, this isn't something I can idly observe.</p><p>“It’s not like bird-watching, Alec!” I growl in defense.</p><p>The demon seems oblivious to my ‘bird-watching’ reference and closes Alec’s robe, then approaches me. My sensible emotions had hightailed it to parts unknown earlier, but they're back now. I'm in control. I have successfully lured the freak-show away from Alec. Now the creeper helps himself to pulling open my robe and goes about laying his slimy hands on my abdomen and over my rune. I stifle a wince, my rune is sore from pulsating.</p><p>“I don’t feel anything.” The dimwit puzzles out loud again, as though he’d expected my rune to somehow differ from Alec’s. Just as he had with Alec the demon gifts himself with a creepy-hand-ticket to investigate my body. Has he never seen abdominal muscles before? Is he secretly an unhinged teenage girl in a glamour? He moves his fingers over my abs as though he were blind and they an important braille message. Up close the monster stinks of that coppery-goo and my stomach reels from both his touch and stench.</p><p>Keeping his fingers upon my stomach the demon looks to Alec. “Do you feel any of this?”</p><p>Alec is gargoyle-still. “No.” He answers quickly, then poses a question:“You’re one of the lust demons, aren’t you?”</p><p>Alec has snagged the demon’s attention. The monster withdraws his gross fingers from my body and is again hovering over Alec.</p><p>The lust demon — as Alec called him— is enamored with my parabatai as though he’s suddenly sprouted a pair of wings.</p><p>“Why, yes, yes I am.” The demon confirms proudly.</p><p>“Then I know that you're very ancient and also very inquisitive by nature.” Alec continues, retaining a conversational tone.</p><p>I know of lust demons, but I’m not an expert. Encountering one is rare.</p><p>“Oh yes, I am rather inquisitive. If you know these things about me, young Shadowhunter, then you must also know that your captivity is for my pleasure and your demise.”</p><p>“Let’s discuss how we satisfy your curiosity first.” Alec suggests, and I have to admit, it’s a great suggestion over the demon’s pleasure and our demise!</p><p>“My lust is more powerful than love. I can break bonds and make bonds. The only bond I am unable to understand is yours. I have observed many parabatai over the centuries, and always this unique bond alludes my understanding. Lust between parabatai is forbidden by your kind, it is considered the very worst carnal sin. I thrive on sin, especially the carnal variety, and I want to witness this sin for myself. Therefore I have decided to conduct these sessions to discover the secrets, the strengths and, of course, the weaknesses and repercussions of testing your bond.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh great, so he’s another bored immortal. Nothing better to do then ruin our lives.</em>
</p><p>“Why us?” Alec looks as unlucky as he feels.</p><p>“A fair question!” The demon smiles as though Alec invited him to a party. “You two were the obvious choice of candidates. You are both so beautiful and strong. Your physical prowess promises that these sessions will be an experience I will relish.” The demon drags a fingernail along Alec’s jawline, scraping away some of the goo. “I take pleasure in touching you, young Shadowhunter, and before-too-long I will bring you into my bed. Both of you.”</p><p>My jaw drops as though my bottom teeth are composed of lead. <em>Bring you into my bed!? Both of you?! </em>Talk about a terrifying threesome! Maybe they could convince the demon to stand in the corner and watch . . .</p><p>“If I may ask a question, demon?” Alec addresses the monster as though he were a colleague. “How were you able to abduct us?”</p><p>“I can not tell you that, young Shadowhunter. All you need to know is that this arrangement took great effort on my part and much organization. Your warlock lover was not easy to deceive.”</p><p>I feel Alec’s adrenaline flash at the mention of Magnus, but his face remains neutral.</p><p>Abruptly the demon raises an eyebrow and stands straight as broom. It’s as though he hears a noise that we can't.</p><p>“I have to step out for a moment, do excuse me, but,” he pats Alec’s thigh. “Because <em>you</em> were so good, I shall reward you by letting you walk around and stretch your legs. Jace already got to stretch his legs. I do not want your bodies to stiffen, well,” the demon cocks his head and chuckles, “at least not your legs. Do not try to escape or unbind your parabatai. You are in my magic cube and it will not work.” With that the demon reaches up and pulls the cord to the overhead lightbulb.</p><p>Darkness swallows everything.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks sooo much for reading! I appreciate you taking a moment to leave a comment. Please let me know what you think. Reviews are food for the fan fiction writer’s soul (as we sure don’t make money! haha!). This story will be 5 chapters long . . . so two more to go! I hope you will enjoy! </p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I’ve never been buried alive but I imagine it feels something like <em>this.</em> The darkness fills every orifice of my body as though I were under water. I don’t know if my eyes are open or closed. All I know is that I’m tied-up and helpless in this tomb-of-a-room, but at least I’m with my parabatai.</p><p>I hear Alec breathing and — <em>thank the angel —</em> the sound is steady and healthy. His breathing is one of my favorite sounds, second only to his heartbeat. The cadence of my own breathing naturally aligns with his.</p><p>I want to say something, but I don’t know what to say. Nameless feelings and unspeakable desires rush through me, confusing me like hearing a hundred voices screaming at once.</p><p>Are these sensations mine?</p><p>Are they Alec’s?</p><p>The strongest urge is that to protect Alec, but not from the demon, from myself. I hurt him. I wanted to consume him like fire . . . to melt him under my hands, under my tongue and, <em>damn-my-fucking-soul-to-hell,</em> because . . .</p><p> I still do.</p><p>“Did he leave?” Alec’s voice somehow makes the darkness less dark.</p><p>“I think so,” I reply and then ‘Simon-panic’, rambling to fill the black air with anything but my sins. “Why did he turn off the light? What’s a ‘magic cube’? He said he was going to let you walk around. Are you free—”</p><p>“Jace, listen to me, we may only have a few moments alone.” The urgency in Alec’s voice thieves my own. “Lust demons are slaves to their urges. He’s going to hurt us and we won’t be able to stop him. You’re going to have to watch him hurt me and I’m going to have to watch him hurt you. We’ve got to accept this if we’re going to survive. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Accept him <em>hurting you?</em>! Have you met me, Alec? No. No way.” My tone is bombproof. “I can’t do that. I won't watch him hurt you. It’s unbearable.”</p><p>“You have to bear it! You have to stay alive!” Alec is straining to keep his voice calm, but his fortitude is cracking. “I can survive him hurting me and touching me, I can’t survive if he kills you. I’ll be blunt, Jace, this demon is going to fuck-us-over in every possible way and we just need to survive until help comes.”</p><p>“There’s no way that <em>thing </em>is going to fuck me in<em> any</em> way!”</p><p>“I don’t wanna see him fuck you any more than you wanna get fucked! Lucky for you, you were right, he doesn’t seem to prefer blonds.”</p><p>“Funny, parabatai.” My delivery is deadpan. I would smack him if I wasn’t shackled.</p><p>Alec inhales sharply like he’s seen ghost, but he’s not freaked out, he’s relieved. “My restraints have disappeared!” He announces and moves toward me. My parabatai doesn’t need to see me to know where I am.</p><p>Alec's large hands land on my chest and his breath warms my face. I smell that copper-goo, but know that beneath it is the taste that I yearn for. His fingers find my shoulders and squeeze reassurance into my skin. I wish that I could return his affection.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> My parabatai</span> presses his forehead against mine. The act is purposeful. He leans into me as though trying to brand his devotion upon my brow like an invisible rune. Alec’s strong arms enfold me. His embrace is innocent and yet it does not have an innocent effect on my groin. I know that <em>it’s wrong</em>, but the instinct to touch him is like the instinct to swim when drowning. I need to do it. I need to kick my legs and move my arms or I’ll submit to a watery grave. My life depends on touching him. But with my limbs bound I’m doomed to drown.</p><p>Alec’s forehead lingers against mine; his lips are so close that they skim across my own. I <em>know</em> that he wants the same thing I do.</p><p><em>Fuck it, </em>my arms may be bound but I can still move my head.</p><p>I lean forward and connect our lips, a ‘self-serve hit’ of my parabatai’s taste. Alec returns my kiss with fervor. Our faces are sticky from the spew and I hope it adheres us together, but it doesn’t.</p><p>"No." Alec gasps, quickly rearing back as though I’ve given him a static shock. “This isn’t what you really want, Jace. It’s not what I want either. It’s the influence of the lust demon.” Alec’s voice is so matter-of-fact, a lawyer trying to defend the guilty. I can <em>feel </em>his immediate regret from pulling away and I’m gonna call him out.</p><p>“Okay, well that’s some classic Alexander Lightwood bullshit.” His body tenses along with my tone, but I’m not backing down. "You can take the punch from a vampire head on, but if an emotion threatens you? Nope! You dodge. We need to talk about that kiss <em>and especially</em> the one before it.”</p><p>“I dodge emotions?” Alec’s voice raises an entire octave. “Wow . . . so the pot calls the kettle. Please just stop, Jace, this is really hard.”</p><p>“I’ve got somethin’ else that's <em>really hard</em>.” I’m not kidding, but Alec interprets my line as a joke he can’t dodge. He laughs his classic-sexy-shy-boy-nervous laugh and I feel his hands slide from my shoulders, down my arms and to my bound writs. I temper my tongue for a moment . . . I just want to savor his closeness. Alec's length of arm is longer than mine and he easily wraps himself around my torso. Since we were kids I’ve always felt the most secure — the most loved— while in his arms. Nothing has changed. As he fiddles with my restraints our chests press together, our hearts pulse in perfect unison. The chorus of our heartbeats and breathing would shame a divine choir.</p><p>Alec’s fingers are thorough and gentle upon my sore wrists. I wince as he grazes my knuckles, they are swollen and tender from punching the demon. Alec searches every centimeter of the restraints for a weak point and I sense his anxiety as he finds none.</p><p>“Try my ankles,” I suggest, though I have little hope those bonds will be any different.</p><p>Familiar hands relocate to my shoulders and then migrate south to my chest. Alec's right palm pauses over my heart and I smile knowing that he loves our synchronized rhythm as much as I do. Alec’s fingers continue their descent and I hold my breath as he grazes my ribs and abdominal muscles. Unlike the perverted exploration from the demon, Alec’s touch is pure and feather-light. It’s as though he’s asking my body for forgiveness, he wanted to spare me the demon’s touch.</p><p>I know I'm smirking. Alec has punched these same muscles countless times as we've sparred, but now he reveres them like they are The Mortal Instruments. His fingertips settle over my parabatai rune and I loath the fabric separating our skin.</p><p>“It hurts you.” Alec says because it hurts him. My rune was pulsating frantically along with his own when he was poisoned.</p><p>“Nah,” I lie.</p><p>“Liar.” Alec's fingers drift away, continuing their journey toward my ankles. His hands spread, taking different routes south. He’s obviously trying to avoid my groin. His hands skim my waistline and settle upon my hips. I like his route deviation about as much as I like being punched in the face. I want him to feel the effect his hands have on me.</p><p>“Alec ...” His name is my oxygen.</p><p>His large hands remain on my hips, he’s waiting for me to say something more. I don’t exactly know what <em>to </em>say. I'm not thinking rationally, yet I'm thinking rationally enough to know that I'm not thinking rationally. I want him. I need him. I’m not a shy prude like he is, but what’s the best way to say, <em>‘Alec, I know this isn’t the most appropriate time and all, but I want you to touch me’.</em> Well . . . maybe the direct way <em>is </em>the best way? It sounds good in my head.</p><p>“Alec, I know this isn’t the most appropriate time and all, but I want you to touch me.” I make certain my voice sounds as serious as I am. I don’t want him to think I’m making another joke.</p><p>“Stop it,” he snaps my words like verbal twigs, “you don’t mean it! You’re forgetting yourself, Jace.”</p><p>“Or maybe it’s just taken me this long to find myself.” I know Alec can <em>feel</em>the honestly in my words just as he feels my hips under his hands. “Alec, the way you taste, the way you make me feel . . . <em>you're everything</em>.”</p><p>As my eyes adjust to the darkness I can make out Alec’s silhouette, his head is downcast. “You’re feeling the demon’s influence. It’s not real, Jace. He’s making us irresistible to each other, like common mundane street drugs.” He sounds wretched, like he wants to jump off a cliff.</p><p>I catch him (well, at least off-guard) with my words: “How do I taste, Alec?”</p><p>My parabatai hesitates five heartbeats. “Dangerous, Jace. You taste dangerous. You taste like betrayal. You taste like adrenaline. You taste like <em>everything I have ever wanted, but I know I can’t have. . . </em>I tried to resist responding to you. I knew it was wrong and kissed you anyway. The rush of danger was euphoric, it was so hard to resist. <em>You are so hard to resist.</em> You still are. I can <em>still</em> feel you in my bloodstream and the drive to taste you again is excruciating to fight. <em>I’m in agony, dammit</em>.”</p><p>“So am I.”</p><p>My parabatai inhales like he’s about to dive under water. His long fingers move to my inner thighs and he squeezes. Our heartbeats increase along with our breathing. His fingers are wavering — trembling —he grips the fabric of the robe tightly, trying to hold himself back; as though the fabric will somehow anchor his resolve.</p><p>“Alec, <em>please</em> touch me.” My voice is thick and needy, just like my cock.</p><p>“ . . . I want to.” His breathy admittance is sexy as fuck. “But these aren’t really our <em>wants</em>, Jace. It’s the demon’s influence.”</p><p>“<em>Seriously?!</em> You need to stop your bullshit, Alec! You've always wanted to touch me, <em>so touch me! </em>You can feel how much I want you and <em>feel for you</em>, just like I can feel how much you want me and feel for me.  Maybe the demon pushed us toward the edge, but we jumped together.”</p><p>“You’re being stupid,” Alec counters like a juvenile, “we’re prisoners! You’re tied-up! We might actually die in here! So, what would you have me do, Jace, just suck you off in this chair?”</p><p>“Actually, that sounds wonderfu--”</p><p>“Enough already! You’re impossible!” My parabatai is getting angry.</p><p>“And you’re just lucky that I’m the one strapped in the chair and you’re the one loose and not the other way around.”</p><p>“Why, Jace? Because you would force your hands on my body, just like you did before?” My parabatai is getting really angry.</p><p>“You wanted me to do it before and you still want me to now and it has nothing to do with that demon.” I don’t care if the truth enrages him. Our feelings are off-the-charts-confusing, but they are as genuine as the sunrise.</p><p>My parabatai releases a long breath and with it the tight grip he has on my robe. His hands don’t go to where I need them to go. Instead they continue to slide down my legs to my knees, over my shins to my ankles. My disappointment slides down, down, down along with his hands.</p><p>“You’re torturing me, Alec, you know that right?”</p><p>Despite the tension between us, I can imagine the amused smile on his face. He wanted me for years and years and years and I feigned obliviousness and remained unresponsive. I’m straight, after all — as straight as one of his arrows—I’m not attracted to men . . . I mean . . . I wasn’t . . . but, yet, I want Alec. I need him and I hate myself. I don’t hate myself for needing Alec, I hate myself for being a stubborn, blind fool to my need.</p><p>I feel him tinkering with the ankle restraints, he’s not as kind to these as he was to my wrist binds. I know he’s beyond irritated with me and I’m desperate to alleviate the tension; so I playfully poke the ‘Alec Bear’ some more. . .</p><p>“You know, we might wanna keep these restraints for after we get outta here. I can think of some kinky uses—”</p><p>“Jace! <em>Wow. </em>Okay, are you <em>this </em>persistent with girls? Does your sexual pestering actually work?”</p><p>“First of all this is ‘flirting’ not ‘pestering’, and girls don’t usually play ‘hardball-hard-to-get’ like you.”</p><p>“Well, I’m <em>married</em>.” That word makes me flinch as though he’d pinched my balls. Alec feels it and continues: “Hey, why don’t you focus on strategies for us to stay alive? That would be a more productive use of your time.” He loves to chastise me more than he loves shooting his arrows. With a groan Alec releases the restraints. “It’s no use, they aren’t going to budge.” Dejected, Alec remains where he is, kneeling before me; but he places his hands back on my thighs to support himself.</p><p>Several silent moments crawl by before my parabatai confesses: “I’m sorry I can’t save you, Jace . . .again.”</p><p>I know what Alec is referring to and I want to smack him upside his pretty head. My memories as the owl are the memories I loath most. I don’t want to be reminded of how I tried to ram his own arrowhead through his chest. I hate that <em>he</em> had apologized to <em>me </em>while I did it!</p><p>“Don’t ever say that to me again!” My words are enflamed and I wish that I couldphysically singe him to ensure that he’s taking me seriously. "I can’t live without you, Alec. I’m nothing without you. You save my life every day just by existing.”</p><p>Alec blindsides me in the dark, totally redirecting our dialogue: “I’m happy that you and Clary found each other again and I’m sorry I haven’t been around to celebrate her return. I just want you to be happy, Jace. You and Clary are meant for one another.”</p><p>I know what he’s trying to do: remind me of Clary and stuff me with guilt like an emotional taxidermist. Fucking low-blow, but I play along. “Why, thank you, Alexander, and I’m happy that you’re happy with Magnus. I mean, you <em>are</em> happy with him, right?”</p><p>“Of course I am!” He barks like I hit a nerve with an iron-rod. “Why wouldn’t I be?”</p><p>“Because Magnus isn’t me.”</p><p>“Jace, you need to stop living in this <em>exact present moment </em>and think to the future. Angel’s-willing we will get rescued, and then what?! You’ve been pining over Clary for a year, you finally have her back and you <em>love</em> her! So now what? You’re just gunna break up with her? Do you expect me to divorce my loyal husband? The husband that I <em>love and cherish</em>? To break my marriage vows, my parabatai vows —<em> The Clave law</em>?! Commit the Sin of Eros?! You want us to ruin Clary’s and Magnus’ lives?! You want us to create all of this chaos and just because we’ve been influenced by a lust demon!? You're being absurd and you know it.”</p><p>“What’s absurd is that it’s taken me<em> this long </em>to realize that I need you, that I love you. And I’m prepared to ride the chaos <em>with you</em> to <em>have you</em>. Not Clary. YOU. Fuck those antiquated Clave laws, we’ve both broken them before, and here we are, livin' to tell the tale. And Magnus’ life won’t be ruined, Alec, he’s immortal, he has forever, but you don’t. So why waste your one life with your second choice?”</p><p>“You need to calm down,” Alec speaks to me like I’m a bratty little kid, wholly disregarding the confession that I just excavated from my soul. “You’re feeling overwhelmed by the lust right now. So am I. It’s taking <em>everything </em>I’ve got not to get carried away by your words and kiss you again, but I know this <em>isn’t real.</em> It can’t be real. You didn’t feel this way about me <em>ever</em> before, even when I wished and wished and wished that you would. Once we get outta here your lust,<em> these feelings</em>  for me will fade and shine on Clary again. Everything’ll be <em>normal</em> again soon. Pull yourself together."</p><p>“<em>Normal</em>?” The word is like decay in my mouth. “Like ‘you avoiding me for months’ kind of <em>normal?</em>”</p><p>“Seriously? You’ve been avoiding me!” Alec's tone slaps me like an open palm.</p><p>“Ever since you got married, Alec, you’ve changed.”</p><p>Alec’s resolve is not simply cracking, it’s shattering like a war-hammer to stained-glass. “By the angle, Jace, I made a commitment to Magnus. He fears how I live and breathe for you, and <em>he’s right to fear.</em> And you know what else? <em>You</em>’re-fucking-right too! <em>Magnus</em> <em>is my second choice! </em>And it’s <em>so hard </em>for him know that he’ll <em>always </em>be my second choice. That if I had to choose to save one of you, that it would <em>never be him</em>. Magnus and I need time together. Alone. I need to devote more attention to him so he doesn’t feel how divided I am when you’re around. He deserves that! It’s been hell for me to be away from you for all of these months, but it’s also hell <em>to be </em>around you . . . even now, even when<em> I am so happy</em> with Magnus, happier than I deserve . . .I . . .” his voice disappears but I <em>feel </em>his emotions blaring within me like a siren.</p><p>“You love me, Alec. And it’s not just the love for a brother or a parabatai. Your feelings have already broken the law, so just let your body follow. You are<em> in love </em>with me. You've always been in love with me.” The confidence in my voice is unabashed. Alec’s silence is louder than a detonating bomb. “Admit it, Alec!”</p><p>Alec admits to nothing because he is gone.</p><p>His body is pushed away from me as though by a mighty, greedy wind!</p><p>That single-freakishly-bright bulb illuminates the room. </p><p>Alec is again strapped to his chair across from me.</p><p>The demon has returned.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was a "chatty chapter". Poor Alec and Jace! I’ve hurled their feelings into an emotional whirlwind and now that horrible demon is back. There’s only ONE chapter left! Please feed my Muse with your reviews. Reviews are the only paychecks poor fan fiction writers get. ;) I SO appreciate everyone who has supported my story with kudos and comments. THANK YOU ALL for encouraging me to do what I love to do . . . tell stories!<br/>Maia's Pen</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 5</p><p>These restraints would secure an elephant to a rollercoaster. I’m as helpless as a gnat on flypaper, but my body still jerks. I <em>need</em> to be with Alec. But the demon is with Alec instead. He's just leering over my parabatai in his deranged-stalker-demon way.</p><p>Alec is too far away for my liking. Granted, he could be sitting on my lap and I'd feel the same way. But, right now, I’m deaf to his heartbeat and that's just unacceptable. I only hear his breathing, which is labored. The magical force which thrust Alec back into his chair has knocked the wind from his lungs. And, for my sake, he’s trying very hard not to show his discomfort. Of course Alec's acting talents are wasted on me. I know what he’s trying to avoid. Alec wants my temper to stay as trapped as a gnat on flypaper.</p><p>But why should Alec get what he wants today? I certainly haven’t.</p><p>That demon bastard interrupted our conversation. My stubborn parabatai was finally cracking. Sure, I had to persist like a verbal jackhammer to make that first fracture in Stoney Lightwood, but it worked. Alec confessed that Magnus was his second choice. He conceded that, if he had to save one of us, it would never be his husband. But the demon barged-in before Alec could admit that he was actually <em>in love </em>with me. And I won’t get the chance to ever hear Alec’s truth if the demon kills us in this cell.</p><p><em>C’mon, Jace, concentrate.</em> I need to lure that gross fucker’s attention onto me before he starts his pervy-shit on Alec again. </p><p>“Hey, demon, where’d you scamper off to so suddenly? Did the Ugly Convention pop into town? No doubt you’re the prized member.” My provoking effectively tows the demon's attention toward me. His eyes are like bottomless pits and staring into them makes me just as dizzy.</p><p>The demon strokes my cheek as though he were wiping away an invisible tear. I blow upward at his hand like it’s a pesky fly, but my breath does nothing to deter his touch.</p><p>“It was your warlock!” The demon cries like a crow spying a hawk; and then he eyes Alec with accusation. “Your lover is tenacious. He nearly found you for a moment."</p><p>Alec’s emotions spiral like a merry-go-round packed with psych patients! And I’m just strapped to a pony and going along for the ride! Feeings of panic-fear-relief-regret-hope-shame-loathing-love-anger-lust-dread cycle over and over and over again making me physically nauseated. But I’m also impressed; Alec’s face remains statue-level stoic. The demon has no idea that the mere mention of Magnus has caused an emotional uproar.</p><p>“Nearly found? Did you make Magnus’ acquaintance then?” Alec asks, his tone relaxed as though they were chatting about a common neighbor.</p><p>The demon removes his hand from my face and folds his arms in a very mundane gesture of annoyance. “I have no desire to ever make the acquaintance of Magnus Bane. I relocated us somewhere less obvious. We are hidden quite well, I daresay. I will commence with our sessions . . . speaking of, did you two enjoy your private session time? I did not miss anything lewd did I? That would be a shame.”</p><p>Is this monster serious or is he making a joke? Either way, his words are creepy as fuck. He’s looking back and forth between us like we're two delicious desserts.</p><p>“Magnus won’t stop looking for me, you do realize that, right? If you let us go now you can continue to avoid ever meeting him. That’s the best route you can take, demon. <em>When</em> Magnus finds me, and sees what you’ve done, he won't be merciful.”</p><p>The demon scoffs, squelching Alec’s fair warning. “See what <em>I have done</em>? I have not <em>done</em> anything to you. At least not yet. It is Jace who deserves Bane’s ire. For Jace has caused your throat to bruise and your phallus to swell.”</p><p>“Phallus?” I laugh at the antiquated word; thankful to have an opening to mock the demon and piss him off before Alec does. “It’s a cock, a penis, a dick. Even ‘pecker’ would be better. You need to modernize your vocabulary. Your words are as lame as your face.”</p><p>The demon opts to ignore me and stalks closer to Alec. He dips his head like a hen considering which area to peck at first.</p><p>Alec’s eyes narrow into slits and he continues to goad the demon. “You know I’m right about Magnus. He’ll execute you for what you’ve done to me. Destroying you will be effortless for him, like blowing out a candle ”</p><p>“Shut up about Magnus already!” I snarl like a possessive boyfriend.</p><p>Alec and the demon glance at me, equally startled by my reaction. My parabatai shakes his head, warning<em> me to ‘shut up’, </em>but the demon smirks. My covetous reaction has pleased him, and that fact only irks me more.</p><p>“Young Shadowhunter, I am fascinated by your territorial response. You do not want to share your parabatai with his own lover? A ‘lawful wedded husband’, as the mortals say it.”</p><p>“I don’t share what’s mine. And Alec is <em>my </em>parabatai. He’s all mine.”</p><p>“Well, he is actually mine now,” the demon lays his long gloved fingers upon Alec’s thigh. “Mine.” The demon taunts and rubs Alec inches from his groin. “It must strain your bond to have to share him with Bane. And now you have to share him with me also. How atrocious for you.”</p><p>“Stop touching him! I’m gonna rip off your head and piss down your neck!”</p><p>“Shit, Jace! Calm down!” Alec’s diplomatic composure has been in the microwave for a bit too long. He’s now lost his temper over me losing my temper; only his temper is within arms’ reach while mine is lost in space.</p><p>“Can frustration break your bond?” The demon inquires as his fingertips nudge Alec’s robe upward, one assiduous inch at a time. First Alec’s knees are revealed, then his muscled thighs; and then the demon pauses<em> just shy</em> of exposing his manhood.</p><p>“Stop it! Stop it now!” My voice is strangled and deranged and the sound <em>should</em> freak me out me; but anxiety crushes my sensibilities like paper cups.</p><p>I feel Alec trying to calm himself down. He’s taking deep breaths— trying to affect me— trying to force my breathing to match his. <em>Fuck that.</em> I huff as defiantly as possible! I’m pushing my lungs to hyperventilate! I will not submit my emotions or my body to our bond! And I will not allow either Alec or the demon to dictate this situation anymore! Either that fucker's neck is snapping or my sanity is. Either way, I’m better off.</p><p>Since I can’t embrace Alec I embrace my obsession with him instead: “Demon, you need to remove your hands from <em>my parabatai </em>right now! By the angel, I vow to make you suffer if you don’t! Magnus Bane will be the least of your worries! The next time I get my hands on you, you'll be headed back to hell.”</p><p>“Very well,” the demon shrugs like a mundane and stands straight as a board, revoking his hands from Alec. “I understand that you, Jace, are hungry for the opportunity to attack me again. But, I wonder, what would happen if I freed you both from your restraints?”</p><p>“That’s a stupid question. We just covered this: I'll kill you. And if you free us both? Then together we'll beat the ever-living-shit out of you! Death by parabatai could be considered a first class ride back to hell.” I spit toward him, missing by an embarrassing distance, but the threatening sentiment is there.</p><p>The demon raises one of his withering brows. “<em>Hmmm,</em> no, young Shadowhunter, I do not believe that you will attack me. I know that there is something you desire more than my blood. You desire to lay with your parabatai. You desire to commit the act forbidden by your kind. You desire to betray to your own bond. Shadowhunter magic is fascinating indeed! And I am truly curious to see what happens to your bond when you consummate your untamed lust. You are both so beautiful, I will quite enjoy myself to watch you ravage one another.”</p><p>Is he . . . serious? He’s going to turn us loose? He thinks I'll bypass beating his ass to fuck Alec's? Thank you, Lady Luck! Finally this demon's pervy-hubris is working in our favor.  </p><p>Every muscle in my body contracts with anticipation. I’m like a coiled spring jacked-up on caffeine, candy and crack! I’m going to ravage alright, but not Alec. I’m not going to miss my chance to attack this monster! I have to protect my parabatai, and I know he yearns to protect me too. I can feel it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Alec's</span> adrenaline skyrockets along with mine. We are stronger together. If we both charge this maniac we can overwhelm him. The demon is over-confident. He won’t be prepared for our combined assault. His body might be concrete-hard but I’m gonna gouge those black eyeballs from his nasty head! If he wants to see parabatai in action, he’s not going to be disappointed!</p><p>I look at Alec and he nods quick as a blink. We’re not just on ‘on the same page’, we <em>are </em>the same page.</p><p>The voyeuristic demon is delighted by the prospect of the sexual show he’s about to witness. He flaunts those charcoal-blacks and announces: “I release you both to sate your lust and mine.” As the demon bows his head my limbs spread wide — I’m free of my binds! Free to pound him into oblivion!</p><p>It’s like the devil himself has hurled me forward! I launch at the demon! I’m going to land on top of him! My fingers are inches from his greasy black hair—</p><p>
  <em>FUCK! FUCK NO!</em>
</p><p>The devil pressed rewind. My body is seized by powerful hands! I’ve been slammed backward, but not into my chair. I’m against the nearest wall. But I’m not ambushed by the demon. These hands belong to Alec.</p><p>“Alec! NO! What the fuc—” Alec’s lips are hellfire. My protest is incinerated by his desire.</p><p>Logic stings me like brain freeze, urging me to shove Alec away! We need to attack the demon! This is our <em>only chance</em> to fight him together! But my body is a selfish thing. My lust has double-crossed our survival. No, not just me. We are parabatai. <em>Our</em> lust has double-crossed <em>our</em> survival. We are about to fuck each other over, and in every sense of the phrase. We deserve to burn in hell for this.</p><p>Alec lit the match, but I dropped it in the gasoline. We’re being burned alive at the stake, but no one tied us up. We volunteered to entwine our bodies together and roast. Our freedom smolders into cinders between our lips. We are consuming one another. All I taste is Alec. He is raw adrenaline upon my tongue. All I feel is Alec. His wanton, hard body is a burning landslide. I want him to crush me and burn me until I’m ash. All I hear is Alec. He is breathless, we both are — like gasping through smoke — is it possible to asphyxiate one another with passion? Fuck, I hope so. That would be<em> the best</em> ticket to hell!</p><p>Alec’s left hand grips my hair like a handlebar and his right hand grabs my shoulder, pressing me into the wall, holding me there so that I can’t change our course. Not that I even could. Alec-the-hellfire-landslide is a force of nature that no divine hand could reverse. I don’t know when he got <em>this </em>strong. I do know that sick-fuck-of-a-demon is watching us, but I don’t care. Let him. Let the world watch. I can’t care. I can’t concentrate. I can only <em>need</em>.</p><p>Our mouths are manic. My lips have never worked <em>this hard</em> to match pace with any woman before. Drugs, money, social media shit—fuck every mundane addiction or obsession — there is no rehab or salvation for me now.No hope of recovering from what Alec is <em>feeding me</em>, <em>exhaling into me</em>. He’s inside my bloodstream, flowing through me, filling every space between bone and muscle and organ and sanity.</p><p>I’ve already submitted, but Alec wants full surrender. He uses his height advantage and spreads my legs with his knee, forcing me off-balance, and my back slides down the wall. If we were sparring I’d be both impressed and annoyed, but now there's only room for my need<em>.</em> The need to be as close to my parabatai as physically possible. And so I allow myself to sink backward and to be vulnerable. Alec won’t let me fall.</p><p>His hand roves from my hair to my hip and holds me steady. My own hands circle the back of his neck and I interlock my fingers; but my grip is weak, sweaty, slipping . . . <em>fuck, </em>Alec has somehow disabled me. I’m like an olden-times damsel swooning and fainting from her lover’s bold embrace. Alec’s other hand tugs my robe open, releasing my entire naked front. <em>Entire naked front</em> as in chest, stomach, hard cock and all. The demon didn’t give us any undies, and I’m quite appreciative of that right now. What I don’t appreciate is that Alec has paused. He’s stopped kissing me. My parabatai pulls back and stares me down— all of me. Those boiling-brown eyes fall from my own and down my naked body. Is Alec admiring me? Studying me? He's seen me naked before, we've changed in the same room many times, but I've never had a hard-on . . . so this is a first. I'm not shy. I know my dick is impressive, so I hold still and wait. I breathe. I let him admire, study, do whatever-it-is he needs to do to prepare for whatever-it-is we are about to do. Alec's attention slides back to my face, but he still doesn't<em> do</em> anything . . . it’s like he’s waiting for some kind of reaction from me, but I don’t know wha—<em>ohhhh!</em></p><p>Now I do.</p><p>My bare cock is in his bare hand and he grins. He grins like a demon about to jerk-off a saint.</p><p>It’s like I’ve shot a glass full of lava. My blood has reached its boiling point! My breath is steam!</p><p>I look at Alec’s gorgeous-fucking-face flaunting that wicked-nasty-boy smile . . . he’s looking <em>at me</em> and . . . holding <em>me in his hand</em> and I . . . I think I’m in shock.</p><p>Alec continues to watch my reaction to his touch, biting his own lower-lip as he does. I want to bite his lower-lip too, but I can’t. I’m helpless as he squeezes me in his hand. My dick has been lit for waaayyy too long -- it’s like a raw, exposed live-wire -- and if Alec pulls on me too much I’m going to explode. I’ve never been a ‘one-pump-chump’ before, but —<em>fuuuuucckkkk me— </em>I’m on the edge.</p><p>Thank the angel for, despite his hellish grin, Alec is gentle. He’s allowing me to adjust to this new physical sensation. My cock in his hand. And in turn Alec takes a moment to adjust to how <em>my</em> cock feels <em>in </em>his hand.</p><p>No man has ever touched me before. Alec’s hand is the largest one to ever hold me, my own hand included. And —<em>ohhh-blissful-shit-damnnn— </em>he’s pulling on me . . . <em>fucccckkk . . .</em> he’s handling my cock better than any woman ever has — better than I have!</p><p>My hands fall from his neck to his shoulders. I need to anchor my body and my wits, and so I grip his muscles like he’s gripping my cock. My eyes want to retreat into my skull, but I order the mismatched-weaklings to steady themselves. I want to watch Alec. And so I look upward and sear my gaze with his.</p><p>Calm, sensible Alec 'left the building' as soon as that demon released us. But now it’s clear he’s vacated the country too. Residing behind those baby-browns is control-freak-sex-freak Alec and . . . I like him. I know I’m more sexually experienced than Alec is, it’s a fact, and yet he’s making me feel like a fucking virgin. I’m sweating, I’m clammy, I’m nervous . . . the anticipation of <em>what </em>he could do to me and <em>how</em> he could make me feel is like wavering on the brim of a very high cliff — looking down thousands and thousands of feet — and being told that when you land you’re either going to die <em>or</em> all of your dreams are going to come true. But you don’t know until you jump.</p><p>Naughty-hungry-Alec continues to observe me as he touches me. He pulls very gently, altering pace and pressure and gauges my response to each skillful stroke. I think I’m whimpering in a very non-bad-ass-Jace way, but Alec claims the embarrassing sound with his mouth and my kneecaps instantly liquefy. My fingers shoot upward, finding Alec’s hair, and I grip those black strands like the ropes on a life-raft, desperate to steady my body as my parabatai milks me of balance and coherent thought.</p><p>Alec’s lips and grip are sinfully possessive, euphorically powerful. His tongue punishes mine as his hand moves faster and compresses me tighter. I’ve watched him work that bow and arrow with unmatched skill for years. Alec has fingers that never slip, never hesitate; and now my body is reaping the rewards of his honed-hand dexterity. My cock is a literal joystick, with his one hand he is controlling my entire body. I will do <em>absolutely anything</em> if it means Alec will never let go — never stop doing what he’s doing.</p><p>I moan into his mouth. I sound like I’m dying and Alec pulls back, retracting his mouth and hand. I shake my head woozily, objecting his withdrawal. Alec raises one of those way-too-perfect thick brows, he’s amused. And now he spits into his palm and grabs a hold of my sanity again. I can’t feel anything other than his large, slick hand igniting every nerve on my dick! I thought I knew everything about my parabatai, but I never suspected he had <em>this</em> in him. I figured he was always the bashful one, the one who Magnus bent over and fucked.</p><p>I wanted to pound the demon into oblivion, but now I just want Alec to bend me over pound me all the way there. </p><p>Alec’s stroking pace increases again. He pulls on me like his bowstring, teasing me, not yet ready to release me. I try to turn around on the wall, offer him my backside, but Alec holds me firmly in place. He wants to unravel me by hand. <em>Fuck, mercy</em> . . . I can still move my hips and so they beg him to finish me off. I move myself back and forth in his hand, pleading for release. My eyes blur and burn like I’m staring at the sun — my stomach muscles clench — the liquid in my kneecaps spreads north, south, east and west and my arms and legs entirely buckle, making my buttocks destined for the floor. While I’m not prepared for gravity to fuck me, Alec is. His left hand is fast and seizes my right ass cheek, steadying me in place and effectively telling gravity to ‘fuck off’. The only force allowed to flatten me is him.</p><p>Alec clutches my backside through the fabric; his hand is so large that he can support my entire right cheek. One of his fingers skims my asshole and I want my robe to burn in hell for separating our skin. Alec’s tongue makes up for the robe though. He’s doing things to my mouth that allude to the things he could do between my ass cheeks. I squeeze my eyes shut. <em>My breathing, my heartbeat, my balls . . . I’m so close . . . I’m going to cum . . .</em></p><p>Alec’s lips migrate from my mouth to my ear. <em>“Jace," </em>his voice is a breath, <em>“when the demon gets-off we attack him. Understand?”</em></p><p>His words are kick to my balls. My impending orgasm vaporizes. I glance over at the demon. The monster is hunched in the corner and, like true perv, he’s cranking himself as he watches us. Sick fuck.</p><p>Alec licks my ear, reclaiming my focus. <em>“Jace, when he cums he’ll be useless and disoriented for a just a few moments. The same thing happens to Magnus, their own demon-blood temporarily incapacitates them. That’ll be our only chance to get him.”</em></p><p>The rest of my body stiffens. <em>This</em> was . . . all an act? Alec’s strategy? Distract the demon? Give him a ‘sexy show’ to lure him into a vulnerable state?</p><p>Alec’s ploy is brilliant . . . I’m impressed . . .</p><p>But . . .</p><p>Disappointment detonates within me — a nuclear bomb set-off at the bottom of the sea — devastating everything under the waves, but creating no more than a ripple above. Alec lays a chaste kiss on my forehead as his hand continues to torture me with unchaste ministrations. He just stares at me . . . those dark eyes absorb my disappointment without flinching.</p><p>
  <em>“Jace, do you understand? When he cums, we attack.”</em>
</p><p><em> “Fine.”</em> I clench my jaw as my stomach muscles tighten. Alec is still <em>way too sexy </em>and he’s pumping me <em>way too well,</em> he’s yanking my cock back to that orgasmic-edge again.<em> “But what about me? I can’t resist cumming with you doing that. You need to lay off.” </em>I hiss as quietly as I possibly can. Sweat is pouring down my brow, my body is desperate to relive itself of fluid!</p><p><em>“Do not cum.”</em> Alec orders. The solider in me is compelled to obey his words, but my body is surrendering faster and faster within his hand. <em>“Jace, don’t you dare cum. Just fool him and focus.” </em>Alec’s iron-stare and iron-will demand that my iron-cock not give in. Through our bond he’s demanding my body not to fail him — not to lose myself to the pleasure. And he’s a fucking asshole because he’s not relinquishing his grip or pace or pressure at all.</p><p>WHAT</p><p>AN</p><p>ASSHOLE.</p><p>
  <em>He's not an asshole.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> He's saving your life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tell that to your balls. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tell the to your . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em>h . . .e . . .a . . . </em>
</p><p>I’m lightheaded.</p><p>My mouth is dry.</p><p>My legs are shaking like I’ve run a damn marathon.</p><p>I feel like I’m going to faint from the effort not to cum!</p><p>But I don’t faint and I don’t cum.</p><p>I don’t do either because it’s not only my life at stake here. I resist the command of my mortal body because Alec needs me to save his. Yes, he’s an asshole right now. I don’t understand why he’s taken this so far. But he’s my asshole and I love him. I know when the moment comes (or rather the demon) we need to fight together to survive together. I can’t hesitate. If I do it’ll be ‘back to the chair’. I can’t get tied to that chair again. I can’t get fondled by that perv again or watch him touch Alec! And if I lose myself to pleasure at the wrong time then I’ll be useless to protect either of us. In order to be useful I have to put on a ‘good show’. I need to play my part in this porno, and stuck it up in every sense of the word. </p><p>Alec feels my resolve fortifying. He kisses me again, a gesture of approval, and pulls back to say: <em>“That’s a good boy, Herondale. Finally doing as your told.”</em> My parabatai praises me like I’m a dog, and then he tugs firmly on my cock like a leash.</p><p><em>“Condescending prick.” </em>My biting words are chased by an actual nip to his upper lip.</p><p>Alec laughs his throaty, cocky ‘<em>I-know-I’m-sexy’</em> laugh and kisses my throat in between his words: <em>“You love</em> &lt;kiss&gt; <em>being</em> &lt;kiss&gt; <em>controlled</em> &lt;kiss&gt; <em>by</em> <em>me.”</em></p><p>The demon groans loudly from is own gross-big-release and, without hesitation, Alec releases me. He drops me like a live grenade and is gone!</p><p>Before I can regain my balance Alec has already tackled the demon to the floor. My parabatai maneuvers the creature into a flawless judo hold. Alec restrains the demonic body within his powerful human legs; and then his arms execute a perfect chokehold around its neck! Alec’s blazing-fast accuracy and technique take me aback, but adrenaline catapults me into action.</p><p>I stomp on the monster’s exposed balls like a pair of cockroaches. The demon wails in agony! The sound is like a hundred crows being boiled alive! My hands fly to my ears, a reflex to shield them from the heinous sound. The monster begins thrashing as though he’s seizing — but he’s very much in control his body; those demonic orbs are infuriated! Vengeful! If he gets loose we're finished. The demon is bucking against Alec with all of his might, and Alec is struggling to retain his hold! I drop down and kneel on the monster’s legs, holding his body stiller so that Alec can get the perfect angle around his neck. If Alec can just get a grip on that pasty-white-chin he can . . .</p><p>The sound is like one billiard ball cracking against another.</p><p>The demon goes slack.</p><p>Alec broke his neck.</p><p>But Alec continues to bend the demon’s neck over and over and over, twisting flesh like it was hair. Alec is ensuring the demon’s bones are shattered. The snapping cartilage sounds like Simon going ape-shit on bubble wrap. Even when the there are no more bubbles to pop; even when the demon’s eyes are lifeless; even when goo dribbles down his lips; Alec continues to choke him. The neck has no stability left, it’s limp as a damp towel.</p><p>“Alec,” I call for my parabatai’s focus. The recognition of his name lures his gaze to mine. Alec’s dark eyes are nearly as lifeless as the demon in his hands. I stand up and offer him my hand.</p><p>My brave parabatai releases the demon and stands on his own, raising to his full height. He is sweating, flushed, panting and his hair is matted every-which-way and, <em>damn,</em> he’s hot. Like war-god-level-hot. Watching him tackle that demon and break its neck has my heart swooning and my cock swelling. <em>I want to tackle him. </em>I dare a step forward, closing the distance between us, but Alec raises his hand like a traffic cop.</p><p>“No, Jace.” Alec warns. “The demon isn’t dead. He’ll revive soon. We have to get out of here before he does.”</p><p>Alec’s words effect me like a cold shower. <em>Yes, I want him</em>, but not at the cost of getting us both fucked-over permanently.</p><p>“The demon’s current weakened state should also weaken the barrier.” Alec explains and begins tracing the surface of the walls. Apparently he's picked-up a few handy magical tid-bits from his husband. Alec pushes against the cement as though it were a large pillow. “It’s gone . . . soft.”</p><p>I resist the urge to make a penis joke and instead follow suit and touch the wall. It feels like a blanket with a static charge. The wall ripples as we continue to slide our hands over it; the concrete giving-way to broad daylight, trees, park benches and dozens of casually strolling mundanes.</p><p>“By the angel, Jace! Look!” Alec sounds as though he’s seen a werwolf piggybacking a vamp. “We’re in Central Park! The demon hid this magic cube in plain sight!”</p><p>I recognize the lively park sounds and city smells and I look down. Under my bare feet is lush grass. The blades poke between my toes as though teasing me for not realizing they were under me all along. The cube’s barrier is weakening, yet we're still trapped inside and invisible. The mundanes meander by as though they don’t even see us, which is both fortunate for them and unfortunate for us.</p><p>“Look!” Alec yelps as though the vamp were now piggybacking the werwolf.</p><p>I’m only slightly disappointed that it’s Simon and he’s not piggybacking anyone. Simon is looking through us. He clearly does not see us. But I daresay those vamp ears are picking up our words; for his pale head is tilting like a dog who’s heard a squeaker. </p><p>“Simon!” Alec and I call him in unison and the vamp perks up. Simon approaches us and he’s <em>so close</em> that I could sucker-punch him if not for this static-blanket-wall.</p><p>“Um . . . so . . . guys? Am I crazy or are you two, like, right here?”</p><p>“Yes, you are crazy,” I confirm, “ugly too.”</p><p>Simon beams as though he’s won tickets to Comic-Con.</p><p>“Jaceeeeee!” He sings my name like a hymn. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you! Magnus said you two were hidden in the park somewhere and I’ve been literally picking up leaves and turning over rocks and—”</p><p>Alec looks like he’s about throw a rock at Simon. My parabatai pounds on our prison wall. “Simon! Go get Magnus! HURRY! We are in serious danger.”</p><p>Simon’s glee keels over. “Okay. He’s not far away. I’ll be right back!” He bolts away, vanishing in a black and white blur.</p><p>I look at Alec but he’s not looking at me. His sight is downcast just like his feelings. Just like our feelings. We should be relieved. We’re about to be rescued . . .</p><p>“Close your robe, Jace.” Alec speaks without emotion, like some doctor whose finished his exam. I glance down. My robe is wide open and exposing all of me. <em>Well, look at that, I’ve still got a semi. </em><span class="Apple-converted-space">I cover it up.</span></p><p>“Alec—”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”</p><p>My parabatai looks at me and my heart feels like the demon’s neck.</p><p>“Yes. I do.” Alec breaths the words as though he regrets breathing at all.</p><p>“I love you, Alec.” I grab just the very tip of his pointer finger and squeeze. I squeeze as though the act will pump my sincerity into him.</p><p>“I love you too,” my parabatai admits at last; and then he wrenches his finger from me as though my own were thorns.</p><p>A wretched whimper rises from behind us. The demon still looks dead, but he most certainly made that noise.</p><p>My parabatai turns around and looms over the demon’s body. And then Alec lets loose his own cry; a sound so pitiful and bitter that it brings tears to my eyes. But my tears dissipate as I watch Alec raise his bare right foot and kick the demon. I know from failed-punching-experience that the monster’s torso is boulder-solid. Alec may as well be kicking a brick wall. He kicks the demon in the gut once . . . twice . . . three times . . . four times . . . Alec kicks and kicks and kicks the monster until his own foot is too broken to kick with anymore. Alec limps back toward me, wincing and cursing with every step. The demon isn’t making anymore noise.</p><p>“You broke your foot.” I can feel that he has, <em>plus </em>his barefoot is swelling like he's stepped on a ground hornet hole.</p><p>Alec nods and looks only at his broken foot. “At least this break will heal.”</p><p>His words gut me with the finesse of a rusty spork.</p><p>“Hey, Alec,” I call to him, but his sight remains southward, probably watching my invisible entrails spill all over the ground. Instead of catching my innards my hands go to him. I set one hand on Alec's shoulder and the other upon his chest, over his heart. His robe has loosened and my fingers slide beneath the fabric. I run them through his chest hair and press down, caressing the flesh over his sternum. My parabatai’s heart presses back, reaching out to me . . . but his arms remain at his sides.</p><p>
  <b> <em> “Alexander!”</em> </b>
</p><p>And there it is.</p><p>The voice I need to free my body, but will imprison my heart.</p><p>I look up.</p><p>I never knew that Magnus could actually, like, <em>run</em>. Using one’s legs for transportation seems below him, and yet . . . <em>he's running</em>, racing like a wild stallion toward us. His ink-black hair is styled high and whips wildly as he rushes through the park, easily leaping strollers and weaving through joggers and cyclists. Magnus is wearing a bedazzled maroon coat and the coattails are flapping as though he’s about to take flight! The warlock is moving so fast that he’s even ahead of Simon. But our trusty vamp is close at his heels. I assume that Clary and Izzy are also on their way, though I don’t see them yet.</p><p>Magnus can see us. Those magical-amber eyes are locked on Alec. Despite his momentum Magnus gracefully stops short, just a few feet from the magical barricade. The warlock is acutely aware of our magical prison and he begins to analyze the structure up and down while considering what he must do. Magnus licks his pointer finger and then lays it upon the barrier, causing a sound like sizzling oil.</p><p>Simon squints in our direction; he’s still unable to see us, but waves clumsily anyway. “You guys okay?”</p><p>“An excellent question,” Magnus commends and follows with, “Alexander, my love, are you alright? How about you, Jace?” Magnus the Multitasker surveys us both while continuing to jab at our magical casing. He touches it as though testing the dryness of a recently painted wall.</p><p>Alec has apparently become a Silent Brother so I answer for us both: “We’re okay. At least we will be now.” I say, but Alec’s lack of reply drives Magnus to play ‘visual detective’. His warlock sight locates the unconscious lust demon and he frowns. Next, those scrutinizing spotlights fixate on me — specifically on my black-tar-goopy mouth — and then Magnus zeroes-in on his precious Alexander again. Magnus assesses Alec’s own black-tar-goopy lips; and then his bruised neck; and then on his foot, which is swelling up like a balloon. And now Magnus himself looks as though someone has kidnapped and defiled his lover — <em>oh, wait, yeah . . .</em></p><p>The warlock’s eyes are an inferno. I believe he could destroy this barricade with side-eye alone. But Magnus flexes his wrists as though preparing to lift something very heavy.</p><p>“Please stand back.” Magnus instructs us calmly.</p><p>We do.</p><p>Magnus flicks his fingers toward us as though they were wet, but no water droplets emerge. What he lets loose is a surge of energy so blinding that Alec and I both cry out and shield our eyes! The invisible walls around us are now melting like very visible wax.</p><p>“Oh wow! Trippy!” Simon awes as we materialize before him. “Who’s that pale guy? Did he kidnap you? Whoaaa! Did you beat his ass?”</p><p>Neither of us answer him. Clary and Izzy are closing in from across the park. The girls are only twenty yards back and trying to dodge ignorant mundanes in their path.</p><p>I’m now free, totally visible to my friends, and yet I don’t acknowledge them. I can’t. My attention is possessed by my quiet parabatai. Alec’s complexion has faded to ashen; he looks ill and woozy and like he’s unsure if he’s even awake or asleep. His foot is beyond fucked-up, but I know that’s not what’s making him sick. It’s realization. I want to hold him and so does Magnus. But I hold my ground instead, and watch as the warlock handles business before his beloved.</p><p>“I hate lust demons.” Magnus proclaims, then he creates a spiraling, fogging portal with one hand and with the other he gestures like he’s shooing away an annoying servant. As he does the demon’s limp form is flung into the abyss and is swallowed into nothingness. Entering a portal unconscious means that the demon may be lost in limbo forever. I fucking hope so. I don’t ever wanna see that perverted-voyeuristic-charcoal-toothed-nasty-fucker again! </p><p>Clary’s arms are around me. Her face rests against my chest like it’s her favorite place on earth. Reflexes engage and I return her embrace, but I can’t look down at her. My sight won’t leave my parabatai. Watching Alec fall into Magnus’ arms is like watching my heart fall from my chest.</p><p>Izzy is hugging my back and Simon squeezes in behind Clary.</p><p>“Eww, Jace!” the vamp’s squeal draws a sliver of my attention. He’s pointing at me like my lips are decomposing. “What’s on your face? And Alec’s face too? Ew, it’s on your neck and ears too! Gross. Did that pale guy put that on you? It stinks! Who was he? Magnus, you called him a ‘lust demon’, right?”</p><p>Magnus nods as though it pains him. “Yes, Simon. That was a notorious lust demon, though I don’t dare speak his name as it gives him power. Alec and Jace are extremely lucky to have survived their encounter. That demon has tortured and killed countless innocent souls. He is far more ancient than I am, and he is renowned for his unusual . . . tastes.”</p><p>“What would a demon like that want with you two?” Izzy asks from behind me.</p><p>“He was curious about our parabatai bond. He wanted to experiment on us, test our bond’s limits.” I answer as honestly as I can without causing upset. No good will come of telling our friends and family about the sexual torture we endured.</p><p>Beside me Alec releases a breath he’s probably been holding for an unnecessarily long time. He’s relieved by my selective report.</p><p>“So what’s on your face? I wanna know.” Simon’s curiosity is as insatiable as the demon’s lust.</p><p>The hugging ceases and all eyes turn to Magnus for his wise identification of the substance. The warlock holds Alec’s chin like he’s inspecting the quality of a fruit at the market. With his other hand Magnus dabs a finger to the black goo and then tastes it. He immediately cringes as though he’s licked Simon’s toe-jam.</p><p>“It’s poison.” Magnus states matter-of-factly. “They’ve both been poisoned. But it’s low-grade. Not meant to kill in small doses, though certainly not pleasant to ingest.”</p><p>“I feel fine.” Alec speaks at last.</p><p>“Your foot certainly doesn’t.”</p><p>“It'll heal.” I can feel Alec’s compulsion to comfort Magnus— to assure his husband of his well-being. Alec lays his larger hand over the one Magnus still holds his face with. “But, Magnus, we’d better not kiss until I wash my fa—”</p><p>Magnus raises an eyebrow and snaps his fingers. The swelling in Alec’s foot has vanished; his face is instantly cleared of goo, and not only that, he’s clean-shaven. That sexy stubble is gone revealing equally sexy smooth skin. The warlock grins playfully, stands on his tippy-toes and points to his own mouth. “Kiss me, darling, I’ve been worried sick about you.”</p><p>Alec does not hesitate. My parabatai’s strong arms enfold his husband and their lips connect.</p><p>I look away.</p><p>“Hey, Magnus!” Clary calls to him, her small arms encircling my torso again. “Can you clean Jace up too? I wanna have my way with him!”</p><p>Without ever separating from Alec’s mouth, Magnus snaps his fingers again and I feel my face tingle as though splashed with aftershave.</p><p>Clary’s familiar, soft lips are upon mine. Autopilot initiates and I return her kiss, but my effort is weak, robotic even. I feel her mouth on mine, eager and loving, but she fails to elicit any effect. My heartbeat doesn’t spike . . . my knees don’t buckle . . . my cock is as limp as an overcooked noodle. Well, not that I’d try to get a hard-on in public anyway, but, there’s not even a twinge down there.</p><p>Izzy says something which initiates a group hug. She, Clary, Simon, Magnus, Alec and I become a contorted mass of limbs. I reach though the torsos and hands and search for Alec. I need the hit of his skin. Even just the brush of his fingertips would sate me. . . but, his is the only body I can’t reach.</p><p>I see him though. I rest my chin on top of Clary’s redhead. Alec is doing the same with Magnus’ dark one. My parabatai’s eyes are squeezed so tightly shut that he’s wrinkling his freshly cleaned face.</p><p>“Hey guys?” Simon’s voice emerges from the center of the hug-a-thon. “Why are you both twinning in those outdated robes? Pretty 1400’s creep-level, if you ask me.” Leave it to Simon to bring awkward conversation to an already awkward group hug. “And, why did you both have that poison crap smeared all over your mouths like that? You looked like two vampires who were making out after feeding!” Simon makes himself giggle, but everyone else stiffens like flowers under frost. Everyone’s relief upon seeing us alive becomes confused as the potential truth of Simon’s rambling observations hits them.</p><p>I look to Alec first, his eyes are still closed as though he thinks no one can see him if he can’t see them. Well, that’s adorable and dumb. So I look at Magnus. The warlock looks about as happy as a chihuahua stranded in the North Pole.</p><p>“The demon made us do it.” Alec blurts to everyone, peaking through his lashes as though they were coated in lead. Our group hug splits faster than most of Simon’s dates.</p><p>Clary, Izzy and Simon trade baffled expressions, struggling to digest Alec’s confession. Only Magnus remains enduring within Alec’s arms.</p><p>“You don’t need to defend yourself, Alexander,” Magnus speaks without any ire. “The influence of a lust demon is potent and long-lasting. It’s for the best that you and Jace spend some time apart for a little while.”</p><p>“No! No fucking way!” My abrasive protest causes everyone to startle. Everyone but Alec.</p><p>“Jace! How could you speak to Magnus like that? He just saved your life.” Izzy scolds me, sounding very much like Maryse .</p><p>I ignore my sister and shake my head, stomping my foot and not giving any fucks if I look like an enraged child! “No way! Alec and I have been separated for months now. We still would be if not for that demon kidnapping us. The demon brought us back together. And now I can’t stand to be away from Alec again. Not for another second. I <em>need</em> him, Magnus. He’s <em>my</em> parabatai. <em>Mine.</em> You can’t keep us apart.”</p><p>Everyone gapes at me like I’ve sprouted nine heads; and I’m gonna scream louder than nine heads if Alec is taken from me! He isn’t going anywhere that I’m not. We have to stay together.</p><p>My parabatai finally looks at me — granting me a scant hit of his attention— just enough to prevent me from going mad. Our combined emotions pulverize my sanity into finite power that I’ll gladly snort up my nose because it contains traces of my Alec. I feel like every injury I’ve ever suffered has reemerged at once. I’m bleeding internally and externally, and the pain is so sickeningly-dire I would sell my soul to the first demon who promised to end this woe. I’m so frustrated! Why isn’t Alec protesting Magnus’ words? He told me he loved me! I don’t wanna have this conversation with him out loud -- and in front of everyone -- anymore than he does; so why the hell is he sinking into his annoying-emo-Alec shell?! My excruciating frustration reflects back at me through Alec’s eyes. Watching his identical suffering makes my own all the more unbearable. We’re drowning in boiling quicksand with anvils tied to our feet and all of our friends are just standing here! They’re casually observing our end! <em>Why? </em>Why do they all look so pitiless? So accusatory? Am I the anvil strapped to Alec? Is he the weight pulling me down? Why would we cause each other this horrible suffering? Unless . . .</p><p>Is Magnus right?</p><p>Will some time apart rescue us from this emotion hell?</p><p>No way. I can't believe that.  </p><p>I’ve been wandering in a weakened state for months, long before the demon abducted us. When Alec left for Idris it was like he’d carved out one of my organs and took it with him as a memento. Just somethin’ to remember his old parabatai pal Jace. At least I now know that he was avoiding me in an effort to avoid his feelings, and apparently he intends to continue doing just that. Selfish bastard. And after all we’ve just been though. He is an asshole. He deserves to suffer and spend his life with Magnus . . . but I don’t deserve that. I can’t . . . I can’t . . .</p><p>“I can’t be away from Alec.” I reiterate with more poise and control, maybe they’ll all believe me if I sound like a one-headed Jace?</p><p>“I understand, Jace.” Magnus smiles with sympathy in his ‘warlock-knows-best’ way. “But you must also understand that I don’t want you anywhere near my husband right now.” Magnus flares his threatening feline eyes; they appear and disappear with a blink-so-brief that I question seeing them at all.</p><p>Magnus turns his back to me and creates another portal.</p><p>“Wait, Magnus!” Calls Izzy. “You and Alec are leaving? Why?”</p><p>“Yes,” Magnus is unapologetic. “This is only temporary, but you must understand that your brother needs my support and protection right now. Kindly respect our privacy. Alec is confused right now and so is Jace. Please take Jace back to The Institute, care for him, and don’t leave him alone. It could take weeks, maybe longer, for the demon’s influence to abate.”</p><p>“Fuck that!” Nine-headed-angry Jace has returned! “Alec! We need to talk. You owe me that at least, <em>dammit</em>. Just-just talk to me, okay? Please, please don’t leave me lik-e . . . like this.” My voice cracks along with my dignity. I’m begging him not to go. Alec’s revolve cracks too. He flinches, but just barely, it’s like an insect has stung him. Alec almost looks up; I can <em>feel </em>that he wants to . . .but Magnus takes his hand, fortifying his resolve, and leads him inside the portal.</p><p>Though Alec doesn’t look at me, Simon, Clary and Izzy sure-as-fuck do. Their stares are boring holes straight through my skull. No doubt Magnus wants to stuff these holes full of magical grubs that will munch on all of my Alec-centered feelings and — <em>whoaaaa, okay, Jace, now you might be legit crazy.</em></p><p>Everything is happening way too fast. Not ten minutes ago Alec and I were alone together. We were each other’s <em>everything — love, hope, lust, survival — </em>and now he’s leaving? Abandoning me? Just like that? Not even a ‘goodbye’? Maybe I’m not ready to be rescued yet, maybe I’ve been released into something worse . .<em> . this hurt is unbearable. I need Alec to be whole . .</em> . but does being whole mean being hurt? Is being parted from my parabatai really what’s best for him? Is that what’s best for me?</p><p>I’m so confused!</p><p>Were all of his kisses and touches and words untrue? Just survival tactics? Was it all the demon’s influence? Was I too drunk from toxic-black-sex-goo to realize it until now?</p><p>I know Alec loves Magnus. I’ve never doubted that. But he doesn’t love him the way he loves me. I alone am his <em>everything, </em>and he alone is mine. We can’t exist without each other. Yeah, okay, that’s probably not a healthy dependency, but it’s <em>us. </em>This is what we are. I need Alec, food, water and air to survive.</p><p>Alec’s earlier confession remains stuck in my skull like the sharpest, most glorious thorn:</p><p>
  <em>‘</em>
  <em>By the angle, Jace, I made a commitment to Magnus. He knows that I live and breathe for you, and you know what? He’s right. And you’re-fucking-right! Magnus is my second choice! And it’s so hard for him know that he’ll always be my second choice. That if I had to choose to save one of you, that it would never be him.’ </em>
</p><p>And right before Magnus arrived on the scene, Alec flat-out told me: '<em>I love you too.'</em></p><p>That demon can take credit for forcing us down an emotional mining shaft; but he did not force Alec to excavate his feelings, and he certainly did not force him to admit them out loud. Alec says nothing by accident. He thinks every word over and over to an obsessive level. His brain is like a spit-roast, turning and roasting every decision until it’s cooked to perfection and ready-to-serve. He confessed his feelings to me by his own will. Alec wasn’t speaking out of lust, he was speaking out of truth and love.</p><p>So why is my parabatai acting like a pussy now? Did being faced with Magnus give him second thoughts? Well, being faced with Clary only gave me <em>clarity</em>. I love and care for her deeply, but it’s no longer romantic love. I don’t want her. I want Alec. And I want Alec to grow a set of balls and come after me. Where is that domineering control-freak? Where is the guy who strangled an ancient lust demon with his bare hands? The same hands he used to tease the fuck outta my cock?! What’s going on?!</p><p>The portal swallows my answers and disappears.</p><p>I lay one hand over my parabatai rune and the other over my heart.</p><p>Alec has sealed himself up like an infuriatingly-adorable-idiotic clam. He’s marinating his spit-roast brain. He’s hasn’t given up on us. At least not yet. And I have two options:</p><p>I can get passive and wait for him, or I can get angry and go after him.</p><p>“Jace? Jace? Jace?” Simon is like a mosquito on my ear. “Are you okay? Why are you smiling? It’s awkward.”</p><p>“Alec is bein’ a little bitch,” I state as one would recite any well-known fact. Izzy and Clary gasp at my casual dictation; and so I gear-down the volume of my next line. My words are for keen vamp ears alone, “he’s not getting away with it.”</p><p>0o0o0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0o0o0 0o0o0o0o0o0o0</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>NOTE: Feels like a cliffee? Well, good, cuz there is an epilogue coming. ;) </p><p>**THANK YOU** all for your patience and continued support of this story. It probably seems like I fell off a cliffee myself. ;) Our local quarantine lifted and my life catapulted back to ‘semi-normal’ and I just got reaaaalllll busy real fast, but I have been working on this story all summer long, and I made sure this chapter was EXTRA long as a thank you to YOU!!! I hope this delivers the Jalec feels. </p><p>Stay tuned . . . there IS a conclusion coming! </p><p>If you enjoyed reading this (or didn’t!) please leave a comment. Your words fuel my words! Best wishes and stay well. xx Maia’s Pen</p><p>PS: Hey, Advocate_lightwood20, if you're reading this . . . you inspired me to 'spice up' our Mr. Lightwood ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Epilogue</p><p> </p><p>Eight weeks later . . .</p><p> </p><p>If Brandon’s asshole is as tight as his grip than this is going to be a very enjoyable —<em>albeit brief — </em>night together. Brandon is so drunk that he’s clinging to my forearm like a dingleberry on a dog’s butt. The three or five or seven shots of vodka <em>(oh, and there were those beers) </em>we slammed have me walking like I stepped off a tilt-a-whirl ride. But at least I’m upright and able to play ‘hot-guy-crutch’ for Brandon.</p><p>The alcohol has sissy-slapped me, but it hasn’t delivered that detonating-drunken-blow. I mean <em>it’s coming</em>, but I’m only half-way gone. I can still think rationally. Or at least semi-rationally, <em>I mean,</em> I’m still able to think this thought that I’m thinking now . . <em>. I think . . . ?</em></p><p>I rented a nice little cottage on Cape Cod. All of my neighbors are old enough to be my grandparents. No doubt Brandon and I will be the shameful gossip of the beach tomorrow. As we stumble up the driveway Brandon announces ‘<em>Jace is so fucking sexy!’ </em>to the entire neighborhood. I mean, <em>I am fucking sexy,</em> but I’m not sure if every grandma and grandpa twenty cottages down wants to know. <em>Then again</em> . . . some oldies are into creepin’ on much younger men, <em>hell,</em> look at Magnus.</p><p>I yell back at our Uber driver: “Hey! Don’t leave yet. Wait for my friend here, he’ll be needing a ride home within the next twenty—” Brandon drunk-laughs at my words. He sounds disturbingly like Simon cracking up at one of his own jokes “—the next ten minutes<em>.</em>”</p><p>Brandon squeezes my ass like he’s trying to make lemonade. I push him against the door and he calls me ‘sassy’. Well, that’s a let down (in more ways than one), I was going for ‘macho’.</p><p>My fingers frisk through Brandon’s hair, it’s so black it almost disappears in the night air. Just like Alec’s. I kiss him. Brandon tastes like vodka, peppermint and imagination. A sinful flavor combo. Maybe the parabatai bond can’t be fooled, but my drunken eyes can. </p><p>Brandon’s mouth is clumsy but effective, and my vodka-soaked blood blazes straight to my cock. I can stay hard enough to fuck him if I keep the cottage lights (and his mouth) shut off.</p><p>I deserve an award for my drunken multitasking skills. I fish my door key outta my pocket with one hand and hold up Brandon with the other. Despite our combined blood alcohol level being enough to make a breathalyzer drunk, we are able enter the cottage and even shut the door behind us. I can’t believe our elderly neighbors aren’t outside giving a standing ovation. <em>Haters. </em></p><p>Brandon’s height makes him easy to kiss. He lied about his height on the dating app, he’s definitely not 6’3”. He’s 5’9” at best, a little shorter than me. But Brandon’s eyes and hair are dark; his lashes are thick, and he’s fit with a pretty face. I knew I’d never find a dead-ringer for Alec. Alec is a brilliant-gorgeous-fucking supernova in a sky full of lightning bugs. My parabatai’s light obliterates them all. But Brandon-the-lightning-bug will do.</p><p>Alec has ignored me for eight weeks. He won’t return my calls or texts and — while I can sense him through our bond— the connection is like trying to call Mars from a sunken submarine. Alec’s moods are a mystery to me. It’s like someone has forced me to get a parabatai lobotomy, and honestly, I’d rather endure the real thing.</p><p>Less than an hour after Magnus and Alec vamoosed I hired a warlock to portal me to Idris. I headed straight to the Bane-Lightwood apartment in Alicante. Izzy and Clary tried to stop me. Izzy told me that the lovebirds would not be home, that they went on a vacation. I didn’t believe her. Alec would <em>never</em> have the fucking gall to go galavanting abroad after the hell we endured. I was manic to confront my parabatai! Desperate to stuff the gaping hole in my chest! And so I broke into their love-nest.</p><p>Well, Izzy was telling the truth. Alec had the fucking gall. <em>What an asshole-prick-bitch. </em>Magnus, Alec and their suitcases were gone. So I flipped their marriage bed upside-down; punched holes in all of their fancy feather pillows; and then I snagged Alec’s favorite sweater from the laundry pile. I can’t sleep without the asshole-prick-bitch’s sweater in my arms. It smells like him.</p><p>Oh, to be a fly on the wall and see lover’s faces when they return home! Their apartment looks like it hosted a dance-a-thon with real chickens. I mean, who has fifty down pillows anyway? Magnus has collected everything in excess over his long-ass life, including pretty young men.</p><p>Eight weeks later and Alec and Magnus are still who-knows-where. Izzy communicates with <em>my</em> parabatai and she knows where he is, but she won’t tell me. I tried to hire a warlock to help me track Alec but, by then, Magnus had laid down the ‘Shadow World Law’ and <em>forbid</em> anyone from aiding me.</p><p>I broke up with Clary weeks ago. I was honest with her about my feelings for Alec and I knew she wouldn’t rat me out to The Clave. I know she told Izzy and Simon, but none of them are gossips, let alone traitors. Clary wasn’t even upset when I dropped the ‘dump bomb’. In hindsight she may have been in denial. She was confident that I would ‘change my mind’ once the lust demon’s influence wore off.</p><p>Well, here I am, two months later . . .and, I daresay that my new chum, sucking-my-face-like-candy-Brandon, can attest that my need for Alec has not subsided at all.</p><p>Since Alec and Magnus took a vacation I decided to take one too. I can’t focus on brushing my teeth let alone hunting. I’ve been plagued by nightmares for weeks. Demon groping; being strapped to that chair; gagging on black-toxic-goo; and worse . . . Alec walking into the portal without granting me a second glance. I wake up screaming like I’m on fire! My rune burning me from the inside, like my heart. But Alec is never here. I can hear the echos of his own agonized wails, but I can never focus to follow his fire trail. I needed a ‘change of pace’ or else I’d need a pacemaker. The other Shadowhunters can handle New York City’s Down Worlder woes for a while. I dunno how long I’ll be away. My heart and soul are never going to stop needing Alec. </p><p>I didn’t travel far, just hopped on my motorcycle and four-and-a-half hours later I was in Massachusetts. The ocean breeze and fresh seafood were just the icing on the Brandon beefcake.</p><p>The only arena where Brandon edges out Alec is the drinking one. Brandon can hold his own with alcohol. He matched me shot-for-shot for an hour at the bar. He’s less-coherent than I am now, but that’s okay, his mouth and hands are working just fine.</p><p>“You’s so-ohhh fuckin’ hawt,” Brandon’s compliment is garbled, but appreciated.</p><p>“I know.” I pant into his ear like a horny dog and slap his ass.</p><p>It’s darker than demon eyes inside the cottage. I think we’ve fondled our way into the living room and the couch should be a little to the right-<em>er-</em>or to left? <em>Maybe? </em>It would be easier to gather actual berries blindfolded than my bearings, so I hold Brandon steady wherever we are in the room. Brandon pulls my fingers to his mouth, those lips are wet and thirsty. He sucks my fingers like he’s trying to extract my brain through them. I’m already hard, but the oral gesture hits my rod like sexual lightning rod.</p><p>I slam Brandon against the nearest wall, he gasps and I claim that gasp with my mouth. I doubt he’s ever been manhandled like this, but he’s not complaining.</p><p>Brandon tugs my shirt upward, anxious to feel if the abs I promoted on my profile are real. My shirt makes it to my chin, but our batshit-mouths won’t rest long enough for the fabric to pass my over my head. I stroke his bulge through his snazzy pastel-blue pants, he’s ready to go!</p><p>I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to <em>do</em> with Brandon once I get him naked. My last ‘man-on-man’ experience was Alec jerking me off for the demon’s private show; and then leaving me with balls bluer than Brandon’s pants. But Brandon alluded that he’s been with lots of men, <em>and</em> I’ve fucked a few girls in the ass before, so . . . if I could just find that couch I’ll bend him over that. From behind, sealed in darkness, I’ll trick my mind into thinking I’m holding Alec. I’ll only need a few minutes . . .</p><p>“Shit,” I flinch as my parabatai rune cramps my side —it’s like my own kidneys have sucker-punched me from the inside! My eyes might be fooled, but the rune can’t be and it’s pissed.</p><p>Brandon hesitates, my abrupt cursing was blatantly derived from pain and not pleasure. <em>Fucking rune</em> . . . it’s really cramping my style in every sense of the word. This sensation is <em>familiar though</em> . . . I’ve felt it before . . .when Clary first came into my life I was hijacked by this same restricting-pang wherever . . . <em>ignore it, Jace!</em></p><p>I have to be my own ‘dating coach’ here or I’m gonna blow my chances at blowing my load. My pain tolerance is beastly, and I buck up. Our lips sear and our hips grind. I yank Brandon forward, my instincts draw me two steps to the left, the couch must be there . . . I hope that fabric is prepared for desecration. I’m willing to bet no senior renters have done what I’m about to do on it’s paisley cushions. I hope I can get my security deposit back . . .</p><p>Three lights now turn on.</p><p>First: my parabatai rune. The rune transforms my abdomen into a glow-in-the-dark cock-block.</p><p>Second: a physical lamp sprays brightness around the room like a cold shower.</p><p>Third: that light in my brain called ‘realization’. Yep, that torches my testis like a lit match! And this realization is a brilliant-gorgeous-fucking supernova.</p><p>Brandon is oblivious to lights one and three; but number two has us both swearing as randy hands become retinal guards.</p><p>“My apologies for visiting unannounced. I didn’t realize you’d have a houseguest.”</p><p>Not sure if it’s the vodka, the lights, or the fact that my cock is holding most of the blood in my body hostage, but vertigo and gravity have decided to gang-bang me. I fall in a very non-graceful-Jace-way flat on my ass.</p><p>
  <em>Alec . . .</em>
</p><p>Our runes are pulsating frantically — our souls are reaching out— desperate and longing to embrace and become whole again.</p><p>I’m on my backside in the center of the room; wearing my shirt like a cape and with a wilting boner. Oh, and there’s Alec’s-less-attractive-mini-me-Brandon standing beside me too. <em>Heh, </em>almost forgot about him.</p><p>I tug my shirt down to conceal my dick and look up at my soul’s desire. My parabatai is seated on that paisley-couch. Alec is reclined, arms and legs spread wide like he bought the ugly furniture and he’s proud.</p><p>Alec Lightwood is a sexy piece of ass. Black leather pants and shin-high boots hug those muscled legs. I’m gonna burn those pants. His t-shirt is pale gray and highlights his strong arms, dark runes and teases his abs and my sanity. Yep, I’m gonna burn that shirt. Alec’s face hasn’t seen a razor in a few days. My parabatai is so loaded with testosterone that his facial hair thrives unless he shaves daily. My thighs clench greedily, yearning to experience the burn of that stubble. <em>No,</em> I’m not gonna burn his face. I’m not a monster who destroys a masterpiece. But Alec is a monster of a masterpiece. He’s masculine and he’s beautiful and I’m jealous and thankful and <em>—fuck— just look at him. </em></p><p>How dare he show up outta-fuckin’-nowhere, be sitting in the dark like a creeper <em>AND</em> still look like god’s-gift. He’s the mundane world’s poster-boy and the shadow world’s wet dream. He’s so oblivious to how sexy he is and that naivety only makes him the most desirable creature I have ever seen.<em>Nah,</em> he wasn’t sent to me from god; he’s the devil’s-gift, and I need to unwrap him and burn away anything that dares to separate our flesh.</p><p>Alec’s lips are set into the straightest line I’ve ever seen, like, I kinda wish I had a ruler to compare with, <em>heh,</em> then I’d spank his ass with it when I was done. His right eyebrow is raised like he’s looking through a monocle. I watch as my favorite eyes examine me and then my . . . umm . . . my ‘houseguest’.</p><p>
  <em>Gosh, Alec is so pretty . . .if a flower was a person and dressed in black leather, and I wanted to fuck a flower, then yeah . . . that’d be him. Ohhhh, I think the vodka has landed.</em>
</p><p>“Alec, hi!” I wave both arms from the floor as though my fingers were pom-poms. “You camez <em>for</em>me! You stopp-t-ed bein' a lil’ bitch, so congra<em>chuuu</em>lations!”</p><p>“A little bitch?” Alec repeats like he’s not sure he’s heard me. Maybe he’s going deaf or something? Probably self-inflicted. Maybe he’s tired of trying to ignore my screams for him. <em>Heh, </em>serves him right, but whatever he’s still hot <em>— and oh my —</em> he stands to his full-godly-impressive height and my cock does the same. My neck cranes upward to follow his face. Alec looks like he’s trying to solve a puzzle and says: “Congratulations? <em>What?”</em></p><p>“Why<em>didn’t</em> ya tell me you whaz comin' over?” My words make me giggle. <em>Waaaaaaiiiittt, </em>do <em>I</em> ‘giggle’?!The thought of <em>me</em> giggling makes me giggle even more! I’m basically hilarious right now! Step back, Simon! Herondale is the token ‘funny one’ now! </p><p>“Jace,” Alec sounds like he’s encountered a hostile diplomat. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up that’d come here, you know, in case I . . . I bitched-out at the last moment, okay? I thought it would be better to just show up. Izzy gave me this address.” Alec moves toward Brandon with the graceful-threat of a stormcloud. My parabatai is easily six inches taller than the mundane. “Leave. Your Uber is still outside.”</p><p>Brandon’s eyes are like brown yo-yo’s swinging back-and-forth between me and the large-muscled-black-leathered-tattooed-gorgeous-Lightwood-beast. I shrug. I’m trying to look apologetic. I mean Brandon is okay, not his fault he’s a mere lightning bug. “It whaz <em>nice</em>to, um, meetz you.” I slur, <em>but I do it with sincerity, dammit!</em></p><p>Brandon says nothing, <em>poor kid</em>, and wisely hightails it outta the cottage.</p><p>I gaze up at Alec like he’s a religious statue that I’m bound to worship. Well, <em>duh.</em></p><p>“Jace, why are you laughing?”</p><p>I can feel Alec’s frustration, his annoyance his . . .</p><p>“You’reeeeee jeaaaaaloussssss!” I sing the words in the teasing tone he hated when we were kids.</p><p>Alec’s hands are on my shoulders and he wrenches me to my feet. Holding me upright must be like trying to steady a jell-o mold with chopsticks. Jealously has blown his pupils so wide it looks like someone blew air up his butthole, so I tell him so: “d-did someonez blow jealousy-air up your b-butthole?”</p><p>Alec rolls his eyes in his classic ‘<em>woe-is-me-why-am-I-always-the-most-intellegent-person-in-the-room-feel-sorry-for-me’ </em>sort of way. His face is <em>so close </em>that I smell the hints of minty toothpaste. I beam knowing he brushed-up just for me. When we kiss we’ll taste like a minty-vodka-danger cocktail . . . quite an improvement from the black-toxic-goo-danger-drink. So I tell him so: “When wez kiss wez taste like a mintyvodkadanger cock-k . . .tail. <em>Oh! </em>I said cock, haaa o’course I’ll drink tha-too.”</p><p>“That’s quite an imagination you have.” Alec’s mouth lingers over mine. Despite how heavy I must be, his hands have not needed to re-grip my biceps.</p><p>“Youz not denyin’ that-that you’re jealo-us.”</p><p>“It’s pointless to lie to you.”</p><p>Even though our bond’s pulse was faint for months, being close to him again is like a parabatai-defibrillator. Or runes are blazing like horned-up embers humping away under our skin. On one hand the the warmth is a comforting confirmation of our bond’s endurance; on the other it’s flooding us with sex-hormones. And this testosterone-tide is about to whisk us both away. I don’t have any muscle-floaty-water-wing-things to wrap our arms in either, we are goin’ down!</p><p>“I knew youz-you’d come back to me, Alec.” I produce a reasonably coherent sentence and wrap my arms around his torso, hugging him like he’s a big plushy Alec-bear. Only there's no 'plushy' on this physique, my boy is rock hard.  </p><p>Alec inhales like he’s been jabbed in the ribs. I want to taste him, but he’s a tall drink-o-sin. He was easy to kiss when he was seated and strapped to a chair, but now standing I’d have to get on my tip-toes to reach his mouth and that pose seems really gay . . . <em>oh, yeaaaa, that.</em></p><p>Alec couldn’t be any more difficult or any less accommodating. His body is ridged like rigor mortis is setting in. Time to bring this hunk back to life with some quality mouth-to-mouth! Yeah, he’s taller but I’ve always been stronger. I imagine my feet are roots and I plant the suckers! Next my hands wrap Alec’s neck like vines and I pull him down with all my drunken weight. He anticipates my intimate ambush, starts to brace himself and then . . . he sighs. My lips sequester his sigh and whatever words he had prepared to follow it. From now on his breath and his words belong to me.</p><p>I donated most of my coordination to alcohol and holding Alec has snagged my strength, but I pour everything I’ve got left into my parabatai’s mouth. I kiss Alec with such passion that the lust demon would probably blush. My tongue parts his lips and I indulge in the sanctity of his taste. Minty-vodka-danger lites my bloodstream like a flamethrower to real vodka! My parabatai rune ignites, it pulses with need—<em>Alec has to be closer —</em> and his body is not immune to this need. I feel his need growing within our bond and in his pants,<em> hell,</em> his erection is about to impale me.</p><p>My right hand roams south, over his belt buckle and finds his swelling-bulge. My hand is slick from sweat, I’m trembling, it’s like a band of butterflies are having a hoedown in my gut. I can battle an army of demons without a single mis-step and yet Alec’s intimacy sweeps me off my feet — and not in a bad ass judo leg-sweeping way. I <em>should </em>feel pathetic, but . . . <em>I love this</em>. I need this. Clary and other girls have turned me on, but Alec is my electrical source.</p><p>
  <em>So . . .</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yeah . . .</em>
</p><p>I’ve never, like, touched a naked dick before. Not counting my own of course, we are well-aquatinted. And so I’m both slightly thankful for fabric between our skin and vengeful toward it. I need a minute to figure out what to do . . . I mean, <em>I’m Jace Herondale</em>, I’m the best at<em> everything</em> and I don’t wanna touch Alec like some sex-noob. I want to impress him, pleasure him, beat into his cock that it’s <em>fucking-dependent on me</em>. I’ve slept with more women than I can count; I’ve always felt as confident in my abilities to please them as in my abilities to slay monsters. But right now, I’m like a clueless adolescent. I want to satisfy Alec more than I’ve ever wanted to satisfy anyone else ever before.</p><p>I trace the outline of his cock and Alec presses is brow to mine, his entire body shudders. Okay, so this is a good sign. My one hand is already undoing his sanity just like his one hand undid me. Fair is fair. Our power over one another must be equal. I grope his cock like it’s mine — it <em>is mine. </em>He is mine. And . . . my fingers gauge exactly what I’m in for.</p><p><em>Damn tho</em> . . . Alec’s cock feels big. Maybe bigger than mine . . . <em>shit,</em> I hope not. It’s not fair if he gets to be taller and have a bigger dick. I’m gonna have to do some side-by-side comparisons. And if he is bigger, I may have to re-think this whole ‘anal sex’ thing. I dunno if I wanna be on the receiving end of this flesh-monster and —</p><p>Alec’s lips interrupt my inner-insecure-ramblings. He can sense them and his mouth is telling me to <em>shut up</em>.</p><p>His fingers cherish my face as his lips take gentle control of mine, changing the course of our kiss from frenzied to tender. I’m not kissing the sex-crazed-control-freak Alec from the demon’s prison. I’m kissing my sweet, sensitive Alec. A man who just wants me know that he’s here and he’s got me.</p><p>Alec and I don’t share the same blood, but <em>— right now— </em>I feel like we are the same being sharing one elated existence. Our souls are connected, secured by a divine rope that no mortal eye can see and no divine hand can break. My heart beats like angel wings against my ribs, but Alec’s mouth is bringing me closer to god than angel wings ever could. We could be taking flight right now, but I don’t want to look away from him to check. I want to lose myself within his eyes, his arms, all of <em>him</em>. Wherever Alec is I must be there too.</p><p>Alec’s kissing slows to no more than a brush of lips, and then he pulls away, tugging on my hand as he does. He can feel the crush of my disappointment, but he’s focused and I allow him to lead me forward.</p><p>“Sit down.” Alec commands, gesturing toward the couch. I do. The room is blurring around me . . . is any of this real? Is Alec really here? Did I pass out and I’m dreaming? Was one of my drinks spiked and I’m hallucinating? If so, I pray to the angel to never wake me or let me sober.</p><p>“You’re drunk.” Alec says the words a though he’s delivering bad news.</p><p>“Guilty!” I blare; <em>hey, might as well wear it like a badge!</em></p><p>Alec leans over me, grabs the bottom of my shirt and pulls it upward revealing my entire abdomen. Anticipation crashes against me like the tide outside; I shut my eyes like a wave is about to drop me. “How-how are we gonna-a, like, do this?” I hope Alec didn’t notice my many stutters. <em>Not sexy, Jace!</em> Yeah, right, he notices <em>everything.</em> “So, um, do y-you, ah, wantz me on my side? My stomach or—”</p><p>“Sober, Jace. I want you sober.”</p><p>That wave turned out to be a wussy splash. I open my eyes in time to see Alec’s rolling his again. There he goes, fluttering those lashes in that ‘woe-is-me-I’m-so-astute-and-solitary-blah-blah-blah-feel-sorry-for-me’ way; and now I notice his stele in his hand . . . <em>oh, okay, yeah . . .</em> Alec was lifting up my shirt to draw an iratze rune on my torso.</p><p>The activated rune instantly lowers the alcohol volume in my blood and raises my perception. Alec stands up and turns around; even though I’m still slightly drunk my reflexes are not. I grab his wrist and Alec raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“Where are you going?” My alarm is not watered-down through voice or bond.</p><p>Alec winces, laying a hand over his throbbing parabatai rune. “Calm down, Jace. I’m going to get you some water. We need to talk.”</p><p>“Damn right we do!” My mental capacities are rapidly sobering — giddy intoxication is giving-way to upset. Alec is <em>way past-due</em> delivering answers to me! My grip on his wrist tightens and I jerk his face toward mine, forcing those brown eyes to pay up. Alec never even looked back at me when he walked into that portal with Magnus!</p><p>“Where the hell have you been? I could barely feel you. I’ve been terrified, sick, lost, heartbroken! Dammit, Alec. You should never have left me like you did. You didn’t even say goodbye.”</p><p>“That’s because it wasn’t goodbye.” Alec’s tone slices like a seraph blade.He shakes his arm harshly like he’s trying to fling mud from his sleeve, only I’m the mud and my hands fall to my lap.</p><p>I watch as Alec disappears into the kitchen. For a moment I fear that he was just a hallucination after all and I almost pursue him, but then I hear the water faucet turn on.</p><p>Alec reappears momentarily with a glass of water. He shoves it into my hand like it’s a weapon. “Drink it.” He looms like an over-protective parent to ensure I drink every drop. When the glass is drained he takes it from me and sets it on the end table.</p><p>Now my parabatai proceeds to fidgets in is trademark ‘awkward-Alec’ way.</p><p>“Nice place, Jace. It’s quite . . . <em>beachy</em>.”</p><p>Alec is skilled at many things: archery, kissing, combat, being gorgeous, generous, oblivious, rolling his eyes, diplomacy, killing monsters, saving my life, hand-jobs, but, small-talk isn’t one of them.</p><p><em>Yes, okay,</em> he’s <em>not wrong</em>, this cottage is ‘<em>beachy’ </em>as fuck<em>. </em>It’s decorated in a seaside motif. The curtains have seashells, the throw pillows are shaped like seashells, heck there is even decorative soap in the bathroom shaped like seashells. But, holy-mother-of-hell, we haven’t spoken in eight weeks and he uses the word ‘beachy’. I’m gonna smack him with a seashell pillow so hard—!</p><p>Alec reaches for my cheek and his touch disarms me. The sorrow in his eyes is stronger than any apology, but Alec gives me one anyway. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Jace. I was trying to protect us both, but I shouldn’t have ghosted you. It’s been hell for us both. I’ve missed you <em>so much</em>, the pain is indescribable.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. <em>Parabatai </em>and all.” My tone stings him, but not like a scorpion, just like an itty-bitty bee. But Alec flinches, his fingers fall from my face and I let them. Though Alec’s expression is pathetic, like a kids who’s ice cream hit the dirt, his internal regret slams me like a runaway train. I don’t just flinch, I recoil and curse. We’re a spectacular train-wreck.</p><p>“Jace, existence is unbearable without you. If I can’t just reach out and touch you, at any given time . . . I. . . can’t survive. ” </p><p><em>Damn, </em>Alec does groveling gorgeously. His sincerity guts me and I just want to fuck him until I die. I grip the sofa to anchor my horny hands and resolve. I need answers from him. I deserve answers.</p><p>“And yet you survived without me for eight weeks.” I let him taste some scorpion-level-sea-salt. “What are you doing here, Alec? Where’s Magnus?”</p><p>Dark eyes flare with a moody flash-o-fire. I’m surprised he didn’t singe his eyelashes. “I love Magnus, that hasn’t changed, but—”</p><p>“Shit, Alec! You <em>just</em> kissed me!” I grab his hands and squeeze my frustration into him! I hope he returns to his husband with my black and blue fingerprints.</p><p>“Jace . . . please . . .” his words are like a last request that doesn’t quite make it out on time. My scorpion sting had a kick of paralysis. </p><p>And now our bond goes nuclear! The emotions discharging within us blast the stubborn, prideful, bitter hurt into the next realm. But our bond has a second assault planned. Time to strip our emotions down to nerve-endings. It’s like a battalion of archers are firing emotional arrows back and forth between us and neither of us has a shield.</p><p><em>So we fucking take it.</em> </p><p>We take the sensory-barrage like the soldiers we are trained to be. But it’s not ‘every man for himself’, we’re parabatai. Our souls yearn to protect the other, take the brunt for the other. Our hands remain steadfast as we suffer, gripping one another like we’ve just jumped off a cliff. We cannot let go. We need to hold each other through this or die at the same time.</p><p>We fall forward. Two emotionally-cracked dominos. Alec collapses, face hitting my lap and my mouth lands against his dark locks. Alec’s hair is wet and sticks to my face like I’ve been tarred in raven feathers. But unlike the tar from our demonic captivity, it is my own tears which adheres us together. I didn’t even realize we’ve been crying.</p><p>Alec and I have a four-way with time and conciseness. But those fuckers roofied us. I feel like I’ve stroked, blacked out, and ingested a nasty cocktail of bleach, red bull and tequila.</p><p>Alec manages to regain an upward seated position and he aids me in finding the same. My parabatai looks like he’s just survived drowning — he’s shivering; he’s gasping; his hair is soaked from my sadness. Alec’s hands hold my face like he’s trying to keep me from going under again. He can barely hold himself up, yet he won’t let go.</p><p>“<em>Hey,</em> I’m right here, Jace. I’m-I’m never gonna leave you again, okay? I’m so-so sorry. <em>Please, please </em>forgive me, <em>my parabatai</em>. . . ” the words have taxed his airways to nothing; he’s breathing as though he’s got a punctured lung. <em>I would know.</em> When possessed by the owl I punctured his lung and listened to him drown in his own blood. Alec’s heated brow rests against mine, if he could physically melt into me he would.</p><p>I nod and Alec feels my gesture. He pulls back just enough to lay four kisses upon my face; they land light as raindrops, marking my nose, both cheeks and lips with his allegiance. “I’m never leaving you again. <em>I promise.</em> I’m right here.”</p><p>“I know,” I stroke wet strands from his eyes, wishing I could so easily stroke away our pain. “I won’t let you leave me. I’ll handcuff you to me, dammit.”</p><p>Alec exhales like he’s been holding his breath for ages. “And that’s why I’m here. We’re obsessed with each other beyond the ‘standard healthy parabatai bond level’, Jace. We have a lot to discuss.”</p><p>I feel his apprehension like a paper-cut on our rune. I slap on a bandaid before infection can get in. “Nobody is gonna tell us how to live. Nobody understands what we have and what we are. I won’t share you. I need you. You’re mine.” I’m word-vomiting and I know I would sound horrifically stalker-ish to every living creature on planet earth. <em>Except one.</em> The only one who matters. Alec receives my possessive words with the appreciation of a love sonnet. "I’m insane without you, Alec. Absolutely mad.”</p><p>He raises an eyebrow and smiles like he just landed a triple backflip. “I know. You trashed our apartment.”</p><p>“Well, you trashed my heart.”</p><p>“You also stole my sweater.”</p><p>“And you stole my fucking sanity.”</p><p>Now Alec looks as though he attempted the triple backflip and landed on his ass. Naked. And in front of a crowd.</p><p><em>Fuck. </em>The bandaid fell off. Alec’s apprehension spreads through us both, but I don’t panic. I know that he will never leave me again. He can’t. We just have to endure an uncomfortable conversation like big-boys now.</p><p>“<em>Your sanity</em>? What about mine? Jace, you let me <em>torture myself</em> <em>for years </em>thinking I was just the ‘pathetic gay guy’ hopelessly in love with his straight best friend, and all along you’ve actually had feelings for me too!<em>”</em></p><p>“You were never pathetic, Alec. Never. But I’ve always been straight. I. . . I wasn’t attracted to you before . . .before . . .”</p><p>“The demon?” Alec spits the words like bloody teeth. “That’s not true. You can lie to yourself, but not to me.” Alec sounds as confident as I’ve ever heard him. I don’t know how he could possibly know that, especially when I don’t even know it.Or . . . or do I . . .</p><p>Alec continues: “Lust demons can’t create lust unless a physical attraction is already present. Think of us as a sweater Jace <em>—like the one you stole from me </em>— unless there is already a loose thread, the demon has nothing to pull on. But if he finds that thread and tugs, well, the whole thing unravels and nakedness ensues.”</p><p>“Wha-? I mean, yeah, I know you’re attractive. I’m not blind, but I’ve never been into cock, Alec. I mean, I’m not gay—”</p><p>Alec’s sight hurls annoyance. “Then who was that guy tonight?”</p><p>No point in lying. Just another nail in the ole’-creeper-Jace-coffin. “I was pretending he was you.”</p><p>Alec flaunts the most satisfied, arrogant smirk. He reminds me of . . . me.“Too short. Wearing pastels. And the flip-flops? <em>Really?</em>”</p><p>“Yeah, but I was<em> desperate</em>. I’m insane for you, <em>remember?</em> I’m not proud of it now. I just wanted to try and trick my mind, even if only for a little while.”</p><p>Alec shifts from arrogant-Jace-mode to professional-delegate-Alec-mode. He’s giving me emotional whiplash!</p><p>“Pleading insanity won’t work with me, Jace. Having said that I’m both flattered and concerned with your life-choice to potentially fuck a random mundane male. Which circles us back to your attraction to me—”</p><p>“<em>Attraction</em>? Don’t downplay us, Alec. I’m in fuckin’-love with you. You can <em>feel</em> it and I can’t deny it. So the demon dug up feelings, fine. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t think I’m gay, maybe I’m bi? Fuckin'-hell. It doesn’t really matter, does it? I just love you, Alec. I'm me and I love you.”</p><p>“I know. And I love you too, you insane man.”</p><p>“I’m also insanely hot.”</p><p>“Yes, generally insane, insanely frustrating and insanely hot! You get the fuckin’ insanity trifecta, Jace, well-done! By the angel, just let me finish a sentence!” Alec tugs on his hair and I wanna put that tugging-action to better use. Alec looks at me and . . . <em>oh, there he is again . . . </em>sex-crazed-control-freak-Alec is still in there. My parabati is about to give himself a bald spot. “<em>Jace,</em> you’re so fuckin’ hot, so fuckin’ sexy. I’ve been jerking-off thinkin’ of <em>you my entire life</em>! The need to touch you is just . . . <em>fuck!</em>”</p><p>My jaw falls loose, but my pants are now <em>reaaaaal</em> tight. I’ve got the erection of my life. “Alec, I-I’ve never heard you swear so much . . .”</p><p>Alec’s hands relieve his scalp and hold my hands instead. “I have always been in love with you.”</p><p>“Can we fuck now?”</p><p>Alec makes a face I have <em>never</em> seen him make. I may as well have jumped out of a cake naked and with a black leather bow tied to my dick.</p><p>“Um . . . ah . . .um. . .” Alec’s feelings are like a sugar-high kid running around through the dark. Blindfolded. Oh, and with lighter in one hand and scissors in the other. “Jace, no. Talking has to, <em>ah,</em> happen. <em>Um,</em> our feelings are one of the things we have to talk about. Magnus is the other.”</p><p>My sight scans the room as though the warlock may pop out from behind the curtains. My dick deflates. “Where is Magnus?”</p><p>Alec looks like the entire world has ended and it’s his fault. “We’re getting a divorce.”</p><p>I’ve been choked-out a time or two in my day, and I imagine my current expression looks a bit like that’s happening to me now. My sight magnetizes to Alec's left ring finger . . . it’s barren. How did I not notice that until now?</p><p>Alec doesn’t seem startled by my ‘I’m being strangled’ face and continues: “This divorce is one of the darkest experiences of my life, but it pales in comparison to losing you.”</p><p>I have no guess as to how my expression looks now. Not that facial communication matters for us. Alec knows that I’m over-joyed and . . . <em>sad. </em>I’m sad for Magnus and Alec. I never doubted their love was real, but it was <em>just love</em>.</p><p>We share ten heartbeats before I ask the most important question: “What does this divorce mean for us?” </p><p>“I don’t know yet, Jace. It’s a decision that we have to make together.”</p><p>“You say that like we have a choice. We need to be together.”</p><p>Alec’s explanation is delivered calmly, but I feel terror tapping against his composure. “It’s about our obsession with one another breaching the levels of normal parabatai attachment. Eight weeks ago Magnus assured me that the demon’s influence would fade within three weeks, four tops. So I waited five, six. . . and I missed you so much that I was ready to peel my own skin off. I woke up screaming for you every single night. Magnus’ most potent sleeping spells were useless. Magnus didn’t want to pressure me, but he craved intimacy, he needed to know my heart was still is. But, last week, I had to be honest with myself and with him. I’ve always been upfront with Magnus that I can’t live without you. But I explained to him that our parabatai love has evolved into romantic love, and it’s not fading away with the demon. I told him we needed to end our marriage. He wasn’t surprised actually, because he’s always known that I’ve been in love with you. But given that you weren’t interested, he didn’t see you as much of a threat to our relationship. Not anymore than Clary ever saw me as a potential risk to her future with you. But I had to end it with him just like you did with Clary. Being in a relationship out of obligation, I just can’t do that. You can’t do that. It’s not fair to Magnus and Clary, and it’s not fair to us. For all our faults, we’re both honest. And Magnus and Clary know that and respect that about us.”</p><p>“How is Magnus?” I ask because, despite everything, I do care. I can’t blame Magnus for loving Alec and wanting to keep him.</p><p>“He’s amazing,” Alec smiles sadly. “He understood. He’s the most selfless person I know, the total opposite of us. Go figure, demon blood for-the-win over nephilim. In fact, he’s spent the past week helping me research the lust demon’s effects and the consequences that could potentially befall us if we decide to pursue a romantic relationship together. The Clave isn’t going to allow us to openly commit the <em>Sin of Eros.”</em></p><p>I hit him with my best <em>‘woe-is-me’</em> Alec eye-roll impersonation. “Oh, please, Alec! You’re really worried about that parabatai curse shit? It’s a bedtime story. Okay, sure, years ago The Clave would’ve executed us or de-runed us, anything that would prevent us from initiating the <em>‘dreaded parabatai curse’</em>, blah, blah, blah. But times have clearly changed. The Clave values us too much to lose us. We’re two of the best hunters they’ve got. I’ve broken almost every law and they let you marry a warlock for angel’s-sake. That’s <em>never </em>been allowed before.”</p><p>“Don’t make light of the curse, Jace.” Alec is genuinely nervous and he’s making me nervous.</p><p>“I’ve never seen any evidence of a curse, have you? This is just another antiquated law.” Time to lighten the mood! I rise to my feet and clear my throat, preparing my voice to sound like an old Clave crone. I throw on a British accent just for pizzazz: “‘By the angel, if parabatai are stronger together then heaven-forbid their bond gets ‘too strong’! Balderdash! That simply can not be allowed! Parabatai in love may not put The Clave first every second of every day. The horror! The betrayal! The laziness! How will we ever prevent that? <em>Oh, I know,</em> let’s scare the parabatai into unwavering commitment and service.” I raise my pointer finger to the ceiling for dramatics: “Here ye! Here ye! Let it be known that all parabatai are not to commit the <em>‘Sin of Eros</em>’ — that means <em>high</em>-<em>quality fucking—” </em>I pause to wink at Alec and then leap back into my performance: “<em>—-</em> unacceptable! No happiness allowed! We’ll tell them that such parabatai will be cursed! Cursed I say!”</p><p>“Are you done?” Somehow Alec looks just like the emoji whose face and eyes are horizontal lines.</p><p>“Nope!” I continue with my British-Clave-crone-persona again: “What does this curse entail, you ask? Eh . . . um . . . do not concern your feeble parabatai minds about it, for it is simply too awful to relay! You cannot possibly handle the comprehension, so just blindly trust us that <em>The Sin of Eros</em> is bad-AF.” </p><p>I take a bow.</p><p>Alec points to the couch, indicating that I should sit back down. I do, though I’m miffed that there's no applause.</p><p>“The curse is bad, Jace.”</p><p>“Alec, I love you, but you are such a doomsday-prepper. Didn’t we technically already commit the <em>Sin of Eros</em>? I’m in love with you, you're in love with me. I’m lusting after you <em>right now.</em> We’ve kissed and you even gave me half-a-handy . . . we’re still alive and well.”</p><p>Alec shakes his head so hard my head hurts! “We are <em>not well</em>, Jace. We have already activated the curse! That’s what I’m trying to tell you. If you’d stop taking like a leprechaun long enough for me to—”</p><p>“That was a British accent.”</p><p><em>“It was?</em>” Alec makes a face like a bug flew into his mouth. “It was a terrible British accent. The worst.”</p><p>“<em>Ouch.</em> You’re lucky you’re hot, Lightwood, and that I can’t live without you. Otherwise them’s fightin’ words.”</p><p>“Be serious,<em> please, </em>Jace. Neither of us is okay. The uncontrollable lust we felt in the prison and this . . . this <em>obsession</em> with each other,<em> it is the curse.</em>”</p><p>
  <em>Okay, now he has my attention.</em>
</p><p>“I’m listening.” I nod, encouraging him to continue.</p><p>“The demon -- unknowingly or not -- unlocked both your feelings for me <em>as well as</em> the curse. He forced us to commit the <em>Sin of Eros. </em>He set it off.The offending parabatai will be possessed by a frenzied-state of overwhelming passion. It could turn our bond against us. It’s possible we could become <em>demon-prison-level </em>of insane over each other <em>all the time. Twenty-four-seven, Jace,</em> until, ultimately, our bond literally consumes us. We won’t want to eat. We won’t want to sleep. We won’t want to drink. We won’t want to breathe. We will only want each other.” Alec pauses to steady his thoughts and breath.</p><p>For once . . . I don’t say anything. I wait for him to continue.</p><p>“Jace, we endured the beginning effects of the curse in captivity, and we’re still feeling it now, though our time apart has diluted it slightly. If we pursue one another romantically then the curse will flare up full-force and could kill us. The way I see it we have three options.”</p><p>Alec pauses again, waiting for my comprehension to recover from the bombs he’s dropping. I nod when I’m ready for the emotional-siege to continue. “Option one: I’ll preface this with ‘I already know you won’t want it’, as I don’t want it. But Magnus made me promise to lay it on the table. Essentially we force ourselves to keep our distance. I stay in Idris, you stay in New York and we isolate from one another. We’ll continue to suffer in this unbearable state we’re in now, but we’ll remain Shadowhunters, and live ones at that.”</p><p>“Fuck no. Next?”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. Okay, option two: give in to our lust. There is a chance that <em>if </em>we can endure the curse’s hellfire then we will learn how to temper it. Overtime we may be able regain control and even enhance our bond. Option three: retire from the Shadow World. We can turn ourselves into The Clave, volunteer to get de-runed and live a mundane life. Then the curse would dissolve. We would no longer be bonded. We would never experience the frenzy again and we would no longer be Shadowhunters.” Alec releases a conclusive breath. "I can’t make this decision on my own.”</p><p>“If we try option two, and we start to get consumed, will we be able to recognize that it’s happening and pull back?”</p><p>“I don’t think we’ll want too. We both knew we were out-of-control when we were captives, right? And we still struggled to resist each other, even when our lives depended on it.”</p><p>“Shit. I’ll be useless. I would’ve drowned myself. I would’ve burned myself. I would have sliced off my own fingers. I would’ve done <em>anything </em>to touch you, Alec. I wanted to crawl inside you and fuck your bones for fuck’s sake. I've never felt anything like that. I needed you then and I still need you now . . . but I’m in control. But if I start to kiss you again, if you let me touch you, I would get lost inside you. I need to get lost inside you. Hell, I’m still waiting for you to finish me off. <em>I need you to. </em>No one has ever handled my cock like that, Alec. I can’t stop thinking about it.”</p><p>Alec pulls on his shirt collar like he’s trying to relieve his body heat. “By the angel, <em>this</em> is what I'm talking about. See how quickly it possesses you?” He shakes his head like he’s trying to shake off the lust.</p><p><em>Good luck, buddy</em>.<em> You’re shaking the wrong head.</em></p><p>“So our options then,” Alec continues, “what do you want to do, Jace?” He asks like he doesn’t already know.</p><p>“I’ll live out my life mundane-style before I’ll live another day as a Shadowhunter without you. But it’s not my choice.”</p><p>“Then we gamble our souls. We give into the passion, allow the frenzy to consume us and see if we’re strong enough to survive it. If we start to go insane, we need to have a back up plan. This is morbid, but I’d like to ask Magnus to put us down if we become animals. If The Clave finds out, they’ll do it for us, but I trust Magnus won’t let us suffer.”</p><p>“Maybe not you . . .” The comment slips and Alec lashes me with side-eye. “Sorry, I owe Magnus my life countless times over, that was rude. But I’m confident that he won’t need to ‘put us down’, Alec. You and I can overcome <em>anything </em>as long as we’re together.”</p><p>“I knew you’d say that, so I’ve already formulated an action plan.”</p><p>“Of course you have.” I grin and ‘boop’ him on his adorable nose.</p><p>Alec’s cheeks flush from my playful gesture. “Please never do that again.” He says it, but he doesn’t mean it. “Anyway, we have to lay low while the curse takes us over. We’ll be unable to return to The Clave and keep our relationship a secret. To be blunt, I’m gonna want to fuck you incessantly, insatiably, so power-up your stamina rune.”</p><p><em>“Rawr.</em> Bring it. <em>Why, Lightwood</em>, you’ve just given me <em>very Hardwood</em>.”</p><p><em>Damn, I love that eye-roll. </em>Alec not only looks irritated, but he huffs like ‘why-god-why-do-I-have-to-be-bonded-to-and-obsessed-with-this-jack-ass(hot-jack-ass)’.</p><p>I go to nose ‘boop’ him again and he blocks it like a punch.</p><p>“So, my plan,” Alec proceeds with nerdy-diplomate focus. “We’re going to head up to Nova Scotia for a while. Might be few weeks or a few months, however long it takes for us to loose ourselves and, hopefully, find ourselves again. Magnus has secured a lodge on a private island, he’s already put up wards, we’ll stay there. Only Magnus and Izzy will know where we are. I’ve already gotten the leave-approval from The Clave, you just need to extend your current leave.”</p><p>“No problem. I’ll do it right after <em>I do you</em>.” I blast Alec with my low-voice-broody-eye’d-sexy face. He yanks on his shirt collar again and shifts uncomfortably. When you have a dick as big as his, a stiffy is hard to sit with. </p><p>“Jace, we really owe Magnus.”</p><p>Normally talk about an ex would put me off, but now Magnus’ name is an aphrodisiac. If it wouldn’t be horrifically awkward I’d probably kiss him! I owe him everything.<em> Well, except Alec, he can have anything else.</em>“I can’t believe Magnus is being so supportive.”</p><p>“He loves me.” Alec doesn’t miss a beat. “He told me that he’ll always care for me and protect me, but that I can’t live with a monumental ‘what-if’ like this. He’s a truly selfless and wonderful man and I’ve never been worthy of his love.”</p><p>“We’re both blessed by the angel to have him in our lives. Even if he does end up ‘ending us’, I’ll appreciate his selflessness and sacrifice. Magnus has done something I could never do . . . let you go.”</p><p>The bliss and peace and love and completion (and sexual gratification) I’ve <em>always </em>wanted are <em>just millimeters</em> away. The anticipation nearly shreds my mortal body into confetti!<em> HOLY SHIT!</em> Yes, Alec and I might be committing suicide, but I’m insane remember!? I'M SO EXCITED! My body is about to launch into outer space and orbit the sun! I’m game to explode into a brilliant-gorgeous-fucking-supernova with Alec in my arms!</p><p>I leap to my feet and pull my parabatai up with me. “Let’s head to Canada now! Right now!”</p><p>“Okay!” Alec has been drinking the same ‘let’s launch into space and explode’ Kool-Aid! His smile showcases his perfect teeth. I want those pearly-whites to bite, nibble and scrape across all of me. “I’ll see about a portal!”</p><p>“No." I say quickly, as I have a better idea. "Let’s get there the mundane way. My motorcycle is in the garage!”</p><p>“Can I drive?”</p><p>“No way! You don't have a license, plus I’ve seen you on a normal bicycle, Alec, and it’s terrifying.”</p><p>“C’mon, Jace! Is that a deal-breaker? I’m too tall for that backseat.”</p><p>“Yes. It’s a deal-breaker. I drive or no Canada.”</p><p>“Liar.”</p><p>“I’m holding firm to this.” I stop my foot for effect.</p><p>Sex-crazed-control-freak-Alec grabs my shirt collar and jerks me toward him. <em>“Oh really? That so?</em>”</p><p>
  <em>Oh, fuck yesyesyesyesyes!</em>
</p><p>The hand<em> that owes me </em>grabs my cock through my pants. Desire flickers within those dark eyes and Alec grins, pleased to feel I’m hard. “If you’re holding firm to that, then I’ll be holding firm to <em>this </em>for the entire drive.”</p><p>“It’s like . . . 16 hours, Alec.” I barely pant the words out. Breathing his air is intoxicating, suffocating, choking me! I <em>need </em>to choke on his fingers and his cock next.</p><p>“Yep.” He fiddles with the fly on my jeans.</p><p>“Then I guess we’ll be pulling over a lot.” My fingers appreciate Alec’s biceps, his hard muscles are making me all the harder. “You gave me the blue-balls of my life with that fuckin’ unfinished hand-job.”</p><p>Alec is proud as fuck. <em>I’ve never </em>felt such arrogance beam outta him, even after he’s bested me in sparring. I’d worry about cocky-radiation sickness if I wasn’t looking forward to basking in his cock glory. <em>Plus </em>I plan on turning his ego (and body) inside out in about three seconds. </p><p>Alec has relieved me of my belt buckle, unzipped my jeans and his fingers slip into the hem of my briefs. He skims the skin <em>just </em>around my erection. <em>Cock-tease.</em> Our hearts thud, our breathing hastens and our runes pulse. Our biological rhythm <em>is so perfect</em> that the sound is undeniably heaven-made. <em>Well, </em>at least I’d think so <em>if </em>our forthcoming actions weren’t guaranteed to receive the devil’s XXX rating.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, I’m not gettin’ my security deposit back.</em>
</p><p>Alec’s tongue tastes my temple, my ear, my throat. He’s ravenous to lick me, kiss me, devour me, suck me, memorize how <em>every inch</em> of me feels against his mouth. I groan and the sound is <em>so sexy</em> I turn myself on even more.</p><p>Alec’s left hand starts tugging my trousers south. I grip his biceps tighter as all of my blood plummets into my cock and balls!! <em>By the angel, I’m lightheaded!</em></p><p>“Hey, Alec, you keep this up and we aren’t makin’ it to Canada tonight.”</p><p>Alec’s tongue has made it to that spot <em>just </em>between my throat and clavicle, but he pauses and glances up <em>—fuck me, his eyelashes are sexy —</em>and looks at me like I’ve stated the most obvious fact he’s ever heard.</p><p>“Good.” Alec breaths the word into my mouth; the sultry air makes my entire body shiver. "I wanted to portal anyway."</p><p>My jeans and briefs have fled to my ankles and those skilled hands are now on my bare ass. Alec grips me like I’m a wild thrill ride and he doesn’t wanna get thrown off. I take that as a challenge.</p><p>“Cheers, demon!” I whisper and Alec smiles against my lips. “Should we send him a 'thank you note'? Just toss one into the next portal?”</p><p>“Shut up and kiss me.”</p><p>I don’t need to be told twice. </p><p>Being imprisoned by that horned-up-fuck-face was needed to set our bodies, hearts and souls free. Come what may, I won’t <em>ever</em> lock up my feelings for Alec again.</p><p>We are stronger together. This curse is about to get its ass kicked.</p><p> </p><p>The End<span class="Apple-converted-space"> (for realz)</span></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>***THANK YOUUUU*** for reading my very first JALEC story!<br/>Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought. ^_^<br/>Did you like it? Hate it? GAAAAH! I'm in suspense! Remember that fan fiction writers earn exactly zero dollars for sharing their imaginations, we write for your feedback. ^_^ </p><p>I am posting a brand-spankin' new fic called 'My Favorite Face'. Despite the cute title, this will be even darker and sexier than 'Taste of Danger', so if you're into that, please be on the look out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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